12 Realistic Jobs For Stay At Home Moms (SAHMs) That Actually Pay

Me acting as "Lucy", for a drama show to raise awareness about cyber-bullying.

You either were a career woman with a stable job at first and left the workforce to take care of your little one fulltime, or you have always planned on becoming a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) and talked things through with your spouse so that you will be there for your child every step of the way since day one. Whatever it is, being a SAHM isn't easy and no matter what your financial background is, relying on only one income may have it's drawbacks sometimes.

I myself have always been working on a freelance basis ever since I graduated - save for the brief period where I was working part-time at an animal concerns society - so the nature of my work has always been on a project-basis and my schedule has usually quite flexible. Growing up, both my parents worked so my younger sister and I were practically raised by our aunts and our live-in maid. But most of the times, we were left to our own devices and would keep each other company for the most part of the day and weekends. I remember during my toddlerhood how my own Mother was a SAHM and she only got a fulltime job shortly after my sister was born. 

In an ideal world, I would love to be a SAHM/ WAHM (Work At Home Mom) forever and take care of my child's every need, shuttle her to & fro for her various classes or playdates, have the luxury of being there when she needs me without having to check my schedule or ask my Boss for time off - but living in what has been ranked the most expensive city for 2 years running now has brought me back down to reality. Although I am still currently a WAHM right now, I fear that once the time comes for Gemini Grrl to start preschool (when she turns 4yrs old), the choice school that I have selected will force me to find a more stable job which will provide a steadier income. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

What exactly do I currently do as a WAHM, you ask? How do I earn money from the comfort of my own home while my daughter sits right beside me moulding cupcakes out of playdough? What do I do to contribute to our monthly household income so that I have a bit of pocket money to buy whatever my heart desires (it's usually new clothes for my daughter, or restocking the snack cupboard to the brim, or for once treating my husband to a lovely dinner out), without depending on someone else all the time? It's a mish mash of different things to be honest, but mostly the same sort of projects which I have already been doing long before my little one came along - which includes writing, acting, directing, and teaching - and I have no help whatsoever so solely rely on my husband (and on the rare occasion, my Mother) to keep an eye on Gemini Grrl while I'm out bringing home the (extra) bacon.

Read on about my list of 12 realistic jobs for Stay At Home Moms and find out how you can earn a few extra bucks while still being a SAHM, or possibly even get a long-term gig going on to qualify as a WAHM :D

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1
PRIVATE TUTOR

Image from Inmagine

In this day and age, (and especially in Singapura) parents are eager to let their children excel academically, so private tutors are in high demand. Just do a search online and filter for assignments by subject to teach, location, age of student, and rates offered. If you are NIE-trained or are an ex teacher, the rates may be a little higher - but they will also consider your other qualifications and experience. You can either opt to go to the student's house, or teach at a tuition centre, or maybe even have the student travel to  your house. There is a wide range of subjects in demand and the age range of students can start from Kindergarten level (!!) to Primary, Secondary and even adults. If you go through a tuition agency, then be prepared for them to take some commission. You can choose your timeslots for the evenings or weekends (so that your husband is home from work and can watch your bub), or whichever time that your child is away in preschool.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - No

Do you need outside help - Yes & No

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2

WEB DESIGNER

Image from Inmagine

For the tech-savvy mommas out there, you can put your computer knowledge to good use. All you need is a computer/ laptop, internet connection and web-skills to design or build and maintain a website. You probably don't ever have to leave the home, except when meeting your client to get more details about what exactly they need - and depending on where you meet up (and how nice they are), you can probably bring your little one along with you as well.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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3
WRITER

Image from Inmagine

I have been doing this for many years now and it has become my bread and butter. It is the only job that I can do purely from home and don't really have to meet anyone at all. I get details via email or over the phone and just type away. Rarely would I have to meet up with clients for brainstorming and even if I have to, it's usually a casual meeting over coffee anyway, so my daughter is more than welcome to be there. You can write scripts for drama companies or production houses, articles for magazines, features on blogs, and much more. 

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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4

ONLINE SELLER

Image from Inmagine

This is another avenue I would like to explore in the near future. From the comfort of your own home, you can sell clothes, accessories, handicraft, home decor pieces, toys, books - the possibilities are endless! You just have to source for the right supplier and simply set up a blogshop on the internet. Whether or not you want a fancy website, is entirely up to you. I've seen some Facebook pages set up selling stuff online and they're doing very well. At the end of the day, it's the products you're selling that need to impress customers, after all.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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5

BABYSITTER

Image from Inmagine

Since you're already taking care of your own child, why not look after another one for just a few hours and get paid for it? Some parents look for reliable adults to send or pick up their child from school and keep them company at home for a short period of time before either one gets home from work. Sometimes, they might just need a date night (don't we all??), so are looking for mature babysitters to watch over their little ones. Depending on the arrangements, you might even be able to let the child play at your house, or even if you have to go over to theirs, some parents are ok with your own bub/ tot joining in as well. Better yet if you can find a child to babysit who lives in the same block or neighbourhood as you.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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6
PHOTOGRAPHER

Image from Inmagine

Not only can you sell your photographs to those who appreciate your work, but you can also offer your services as a professional photographer for events such as birthday parties, weddings, graduations, engagements, corporate dinners, etc. Most of which would probably occur in the evenings or weekends, so hopefully your husband will be off from work to take over parental duties as you're out snapping pictures and bringing in the dough. Or if it's just a short photoshoot, you can bring your child along as well. If things take off well, then you can also consider converting one of your rooms into a studio and offer competitive rates for private studio shoots.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes & No

Do you need outside help - Yes & No

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7
PARTY PLANNER & DECORATOR

Image from Inmagine

I may be stereotyping here, but a lot of SAHMs/ WAHMs are addicted to Pinterest (guilty as charge! Haha!), and have probably pinned 3527 ideas about our tot's upcoming birthday bash (umm, or is that just me??). So why not turn our party-planning skills into something that can generate income? Set up a simple website listing out your services and just liase with clients over the phone while you're still in your pajamas, sprawled out on your couch. If you have to go down to the venue to put up decorations and all that, I'm sure your little one can patiently wait for you, or amuse themselves by playing with a colourful balloon while Mommy's rolling up her sleeves.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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8
PETSITTER/ WALKER

Image from Inmagine

Some people may require someone to help walk their dog if their work schedules are super hectic. Or they may even need you to watch their pets for a few days while they are out of the country for work or on holiday. This is actually a cheaper option for them rather than to put their pet at one of those "pet hotels", plus they have the peace of mind knowing that their furry friend will have more attention given to them staying at somebody's house, rather than being boarded up with hundreds of other 4-legged critters.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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9
BEAUTICIAN

Image from Inmagine

Either you can become a Make Up Artist who goes out for assignments on the weekends for weddings and such, or you can offer your services as a Manicurist/ Pedicurist, Hair Stylist, or even Ladies' Masseuse - the selling point is that you do house-calls! Haven't you always longed for a beauty session to be done right in your own home where you can keep an eye on your child, instead of dragging them out to a spa somewhere and worry if they're going to knock anything over or eat something they're not supposed to? I'm sure lots of other women out there would appreciate these services offered door to door :) I have met some enterprising women who have also converted one of their rooms into a mini beauty parlour, so their kids can be playing in the next room while Mommy is earning some moola. Plus if you're over at someone's house to paint their nails, they probably wouldn't really mind if your bub was there as well (away from the fumes of course). 

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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10
PERSONAL SHOPPER

Image from Inmagine

Seriously, some people are just so busy that they need to hire extra helping hands to run basic errands for them. Pick up their dry-cleaning, do some grocery shopping, shop for a nice new outfit. Whatever it is, since you're basically out there buying stuff around town, I don't see why you couldn't bring your child with you for these runs. This can probably done at your own time and pace as well, because people don't usually require 2kg of frozen chicken or a new hat PRONTO. What a dream, getting paid to shop!

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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11
FITNESS INSTRUCTOR

Image from Inmagine

For all the fit moms out there, why not teach a Yoga/ Aerobics/ Pilates/ Zumba class or something? Not only do you get a workout, but you'll actually be paid for it as well! Or tailor a Mommy & Baby Yoga class so that you can use your own darling bub as an example while leading the class. Other SAHMs would probably love this opportunity to get their babies involved in their fitness regime as well. Or leave the wee one at home with Daddy, while you go to the nearby gym or sports complex to work up a sweat and roll in the cash.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes & No

Do you need outside help - Yes & No

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12

SMALL-SCALE CATERER

Image from Inmagine

If you have some decent cooking or baking skills, then why not offer small-scale catering packages? Bake a huge batch of pretty cupcakes for a Baby Shower, or whip up some tasty mini quiches for an engagement party - just keep the orders small and don't overwhelm yourself. You'll only have to leave the house to deliver the goods and maybe set it up at the event venue, but you can probably bring your child along as well for this. If your child is old enough, then maybe they could even lend a helping hand as well? :)

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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So there you have it! 12 realistic jobs for Stay At Home Moms (SAHMs) that actually pay! No gimmicks, no fees to pay, no headaches. If you still feel that none of the above-mentioned jobs are suitable for you, fret not, just think carefully about what set of skills you have and try to figure out how to monetise that. Can you sew? Be a seamstress, or kids' costume maker, or sew your own handicrafts. Do you have a pleasant voice? Be a hotline operator over the phone, or voice-over talent, or singing coach. I'm sure you must have something worthwhile to offer and there are people out there willing to pay good money for your services.

But if not, then nevermind, just remember that your fulltime job as a 24/7 Mother to your precious little ones is already absolutely priceless :)

FUN QUIZ: Which Type of Mommy Are You?

Image from Inmagine

I remember coming up with short quizzes like this back in highschool (because I clearly wasn't paying enough attention in class, haha!) and my friends would fill them out for fun (and because they were obviously not digging the classes either). So fast forward to a decade later and here I am again, coming up with a silly little quiz all in the name of fun. Just go through the questions below, remember your answers (or write them down somewhere) and check out the answers at the end to determine your type! Remember though, this is all in the name of fun and I am not a certified psychologist by any means ;)

QUIZ: WHICH TYPE OF MOMMA ARE YOU?

Q1
At the playground, your toddler is playing in the sandpit and you suddenly spot them putting some sand into their mouth and eating it! How do you react to this?

Image from Inmagine

A) You quickly clear as much sand out of their mouth as you can, then wipe their face and hands with antibacterial wet-wipes. Then you sit closely by them and help them build sandcastles, not chow down on "sandwiches"!

B) You just laugh it off. It's ok, a little bit of sand won't hurt them. But you keep a closer eye on them so they won't help themselves to another serving!

C) You explain that eating sand might make them feel ill and remind them that sand is for playing and not for eating.

D) You post a question on an online forum to ask the other Mommies for their opinion about what you should do next and whether your tot will be alright.

E) You are glad that there wasn't any cat poop in the sand and hope that your little one won't get sick after this unexpected snack.

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Q2
Whilst on a long flight going for your family holiday, your child starts to get restless and won't sit still. How do you handle this?

Image from Inmagine

A) Whip out your pre-packed bag of quiet activities for them to occupy themselves, and ask the flight attendant for any free kids toys.

B) Sing some songs with them and then flip through the in-flight magazine, pointing out the colourful pictures. 

C) Give them an assortment of organic snacks you have in your bag and distract them by showing them the funny cloud formations outside the window.

D) Turn on their favourite educational cartoon on their iPad to keep them happy, and hopefully you can also get a quick shut-eye.

E) Try to get your child to have a nap, and feel grateful that there has been no turbulence so far.

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Q3
Your child is complaining of a tummy ache one night after dinner. What do you do?

Image from Inmagine

A) Noticed that they were not really eating well at dinnertime, so suspect that it could be due to something else they ate earlier on in the day.

B) Give them a warm bath and let them go to bed early. They should be ok in the morning.

C) Make them drink some peppermint tea to help naturally ease their tummy ache.

D) Google their symptoms to see what exactly could be the cause and whether or not you should bring them to see the Doctor immediately.

E) Rub some soothing essential oils on their tummy area and pray they get well soon.

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Q4
Your little one's birthday is coming up! How will you celebrate it?

Image from Inmagine

A) A fun-filled themed party after careful observation as to what are your child's favourite characters, colours, activities and food. You will be sure to invite all their friends!

B) You're not sure yet. You'll think about it more when it's a little closer to the date. It'll still be a very special day anyway no matter what you decide do or who you celebrate it with.

C) A lovely little party with handmade decorations and a home-cooked buffet spread (mostly inspired by Pinterest!), at your house or the park with a nice outdoor playground.

D) Whatever is the most popular place to hold children's parties this year - it could be an indoor playground, a family-friendly restaurant or a specialised activities studio. Less hassle on your part, but still lots of fun for the little guests!

E) An intimate family gathering with a delectable feast and a few activities to occupy the children, after which you will make a heartfelt speech thanking everyone for attending and express your gratitude for your child's health thus far.

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Q5
You are picking out a new preschool for your child. What will seal the deal for you?

Image from Inmagine

A) The teacher-student ratio, the safety precautions in the school, the overall standard of hygiene and the general layout of the classrooms.

B) Whether the fees are reasonable, if the location of the school is easily accessible, the quality of the overall curriculum.

C) The various activities offered, whether it is a more play-based approach, if the meals provided are organic and allergy-friendly.

D) Hearing positive feedback from other people you know, reading positive reviews online, whether the teachers regularly update you with your child's weekly progress and how well-maintained the whole school is.

E) If you have a good vibe from the teachers, generally get a positive feeling when you visit the school, and you notice how happy the other current students are.

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Q6
Your kid asks if they could have a pet. What do you feel about this?

Image from Inmagine

A) You're not sure if they are old enough to be responsible for a pet, so you talk them through all the special duties they would have to be in charge of and make a deal with that if they behave well and show their maturity, you will consider this request.

B) You go out and get them a goldfish and tell them that they have to make sure to feed it every single day, as well as help you change the water every once in a while.

C) You bring them to an animal shelter to adopt a furry friend and remind them that a pet is for life and they have to promise to be responsible for this new addition to the family.

D) You buy them a realistic-looking electronic toy pet instead - no stinky litter trays, no tiring walks, no little accidents on the carpet, no extra mouth to feed, no expensive vet visits, and no sad funerals to think of!

E) You bring your child to borrow a bunch of books from the library about different kinds of pets, their needs and wants, and tell them the great responsibilities of being a pet-owner, before letting them decide once again if they still really want one.

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Q7
While trying to pour themselves a cup of juice, your child accidentally spills it all over the kitchen floor. What is your reaction to this?

Image from Inmagine

A) You already reminded them that if they made a mess then they would have to clean it up. But you help them and then give them a juice-box instead.

B) You pour them another cup of juice, tell them to go drink it in the living room, and then wipe up the juice puddle with some paper towels.

C) You ask them to help you clean up the spilled juice with a kitchen towel, and then talk them through how to pour themselves another cup without spilling it this time.

D) You tell them it's ok, it was a good try, but they should be more careful the next time. Then you help them pour a new cup of juice.

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Q8
You are just not in the mood to cook today, but it's almost lunchtime. What will you feed your child?

Image from Inmagine

A) You already have some lovely home-cooked frozen meals especially for days like these, so just pick one out of the freezer to heat up in time for lunch.

B) There are plenty of yummy leftovers in the fridge from last night's dinner and will still taste good today. No big deal.

C) You pick an easy recipe from your cookbook and get your child to help prepare a quick but delicious meal which requires only a few ingredients and minimal effort.    

D) You call for a hot and tasty meal to be delivered to your house within the hour.

E) You muster up the strength to cook a very simple but nutritious and hearty pot of chicken and vegetable soup.

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Q9
Someone gives you unwanted advice about your parenting technique. How do you feel about this?

Image from Inmagine

A) You listen to them for a while, and then politely but firmly explain why you do the things you do and remind them what works for you may not work for others, and only you would know your own child well.

B) Shrug it off. Everyone has their own beliefs and methods. They probably don't mean any harm and just wanted to give some advice. But to each their own, right?

C) Tell them why you subscribe to this method, give them more details about the pros, and highlight the fact that this is has been going well for you and your child thus far.

D) Start a friendly discussion about the different parenting techniques out there, then conclude it by saying that you're just doing whatever feels right for you, your child and your current situation.

E) Just smile and thank them for express their concerns, but reassure them you know what's best for your child and so far things have being going well, and if you need any more advice from them in future, you will be sure to ask.

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Q10
There is a power black-out in your whole neighbourhood and your house is also affected. What do you do in this situation?

Image from Inmagine

A) You have prepared a box of quiet activities for such emergencies to keep your little one happy and occupied including little flashlights to make the dark less scary, then go to your fuse box to see if you can fix the problem yourself.

B) You open all the windows to let some air in and just wait it out with your child right by your side, and sing them a lullaby to get them to go back to sleep.

C) You explain your child what exactly is happening and how you can still survive without electricity, then put up a tent indoors and pretend that you are all camping.

D) You call the power company up on your phone to see what the problem is and to ask how long it will take until everything is back to normal.

E) You wander outside to ask your neighbours if they know what the cause is, then go back inside and tell your child a few nice stories to soothe them until the power is back up again.

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RESULTS

MOSTLY A's:
 ALL-SEEING MUMMY

Image from Inmagine

You are quite the knowledgeable one and stand firm with your own beliefs. You are very intuitive to your child's wants and needs and know exactly what to do at all times. You have good foresight and are always prepared for anything! You most likely have a well-stocked diaper bag filled to the brim with essential supplies, various toys, an assortment of snacks and a long list of emergency numbers. You know how to take charge, are a strong woman and have a thirst for knowledge.


MOSTLY B's:

CHILLAX MOM

Image from Inmagine

Nothing really fazes you and you just don't let anything get to you. You are calm, collected and certainly will not break under pressure. You know what you're doing and just go with the flow most of the time. You try not to get so worked up or stressed out over things you can't control and will even let your child take the lead while you are there to guide them along the way. You are pleasant to be around and easy to talk to. Your motto is probably, "No worries, be happy!".

MOSTLY C's:

GREEN MOMMA

Image from Inmagine

You prefer organic food and natural products as you feel it is better for your family. You are a sensitive soul and responsive to your children's needs. You are very kind, patient and understanding. You also take the holistic approach, are naturally gentle and nurturing by nature. You strongly feel that kids should just be kids and don't want them to grow up too soon, but at the same time you encourage their independence and give them lots of freedom.

MOSTLY D's:

MODERN MUM

Image from Inmagine

You are up to date with all the current trends and latest gadgets. You feel that the children of today's generation should embrace technology because that is the way of the future. You are ambitious, determined, and would gladly spend every single penny on your child just to make them happy. You want your child to succeed and will push them to be the best that they can be.

MOSTLY E's:

SPIRITUAL MOTHER

Image from Inmagine

You have traditional values and love to impart your wisdom to your children. You have a wonderful positive attitude and always know how to look on the bright side of things. You are also a very grateful person and thankful for each passing day. You see your children as a blessing and vow to teach them to be kind and generous to all those around them, and that they may grow up to be caring, compassionate and respectful adults.

How I Lost My Baby Weight (& Then Some!)

Me & Gemini Grrl in 2014 (when she was turning 2yrs old)

My weight has always been an issue for me while growing up, and even up until this very day in fact. Being one of the tallest girls in class, I stuck out like a sore thumb. Looking back, I don't think I was even medically overweight and definitely far from being obese, but the few extra pounds I had that tipped the scale were apparently enough for me to be the target of body-shaming - from my immature classmates, to my insensitive relatives.

My weight would fluctuate and it is a struggle I am still facing now. Some people say my body is absolutely fine and my own husband says he loves me just the way I am, but I guess it's hard to shake off these insecurities when you've gotten picked on, teased, ostracised and bullied for your natural body type.

So when I finally got pregnant, I was completely over the moon because we had been trying for a few years, but at the same time a tiny part of me was worried about how much weight I was going to gain and if I would balloon up like a whale.

Although I was one of those lucky ones who did not suffer from morning sickness at all and did not throw up even once throughout my entire pregnancy, I did suffer from a bit of dizziness at times and waves of nausea every now and then, and didn't really have much of an appetite (which is very strange for me because I am such a foodie). So during my first trimester, I actually lost weight!

Then post-pregnancy, I lost even more weight than I had prior to being pregnant! Yes, you can hate me now, sorry. Haha! :P I did not take any magic pills, nor did I go for expensive liposuction or anything. It was actually not that hard at all (I am SO praying that this will be true for the next time get pregnant again!). So here are my own theories as to how exactly I shed the baby weight within just 1 month after giving birth.

BREASTFEEDING

Image source: weBegirls

Did you know that when you are breastfeeding, you are actually burning up to 500 calories a day?? Apparently that's the same as:

a) Jogging for 1 HOUR
b) Swimming for 1 HOUR
c) Mowing the lawn for 2 HOURS
d) Tennis for 1 HOUR
e) Horse riding for 2 HOURS
f) Water aerobics for 2 HOURS
g) Rock climbing for 1 HOUR

No wonder I'm so hungry all the time! I am actually still breastfeeding until now (Gemini Grrl is turning 3yrs old in a few months' time), and plan on stopping whenever she is done with it. 

DIET

Thai Crispy Fish Salad in Banana Flower Petal. (Image by Imagine)

No, please do not go on a diet. I personally believe that diets are absolute bullsh*t. However, it is good to watch your diet. Eat whatever you want, but everything must be in moderation. After giving birth, my Mom cooked me traditional Thai Confinement Food and would send it over piping hot to my house almost every morning before she went to work. This would include hot soups (lots of liquid intake is good for breastfeeding moms), banana flower (to promote lactation - trust me, this worked REALLY well!), pepper, ginger (both to help expel wind. Mmm, lovely. LOL!), chicken liver/ gizzard/ heart (to help replenish my blood loss), plenty of fruit and vegetables (for fibre and vitamins). I was also advised to avoid eating anything too sugary as it was empty calories and wouldn't really do much for my health anyway (I won't lie though, I did indulge in the occasional macaron and cupcake!).

Drink LOTS of water to help flush your body out because of water retention (sounds weird, I know, drink water to get rid of excess water??), but apparantly this is so. Soups and porridge will keep you full for longer, so maybe that's why I was pretty content eating 3 bowls of soup a day, without hearing any complaining from my tummy.

POST-NATAL MASSAGE & TUMMY WRAP

Image by Imagine

If you read my previous post about my TTC tips, you'll remember that I mentioned traditional massage as part of my TTC journey. Well, I used the same masseuse for my post-natal massages and she would come to my house with all her oils and wraps each time. I would get a lovely relaxing massage for about 1 hour each time and she would end it off with wrapping me up tightly in a tummy binder, which would help get me back into shape. 

1 month after giving birth, my tummy was FLAT. Oh, ignore my grimacing face - I am NOT a fan of the lizard family :S

I admit, I was a little skeptical at first and wasn't sure what exactly to expect, but I swear to God that just 1 month after giving birth (and only 2 weeks of these massages + tummy wraps), my body was more in shape than it was BEFORE I was even pregnant!!!! My tummy was absolutely FLAT and I think looked even better than it had in yearssss. I even wore a CROP TOP for my bub's very first outing to the nearby park. Hell, I wouldn't even wear one NOW, but I was feeling super happy with my post-baby body. You have to wear the tight wrap for at least 6 hours though (the longer the better) and it is VERY uncomfortable. Some people don't even last more than 2 hours. But there are some who will wear it to sleep! 

Not only is the massage relaxing for you, but it helps with your blood circulation, reduces water retention, expels wind, gets your womb back into place, and well, come on, you deserve to treat yourself! I am actually tempted to call the masseuse up again to wrap my my cake belly right now :P

EXERCISE

Image from Imagine

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Only joking. I wasn't exercising at all. Well, at least not in the gym anyway. Ain't nobody got time fo dat! Especially when you're a SAHM with no help whasoever, your husband's at work and you're left all alone at home staring at the new precious little bundle of joy that you have absolutely no friggin' clue what to do with. Getting up at all hours of the night, rocking my baby to sleep, running to the bathroom to pee when my bubs was asleep - all that was enough exercise for me already! 

But honestly though, if you were active during your pregnancy, then not only will that help with a faster delivery (mine was 7 hours in total from start to finish), but it also helps you to easily shed the post-pregnancy weight. If you have the energy and luxury of working out after your baby is here, then go for it! I miss being inside the gym as well, but seriously could not be bothered anymore right now. But you can just burn a few extra calories by doing everyday stuff. Baby-wearing, carrying your ever-growing baby, take a brisk walk with your little one in a stroller, take the stairs, go window-shopping with your girlfriends. Every little effort counts, trust me.

Now that Gemini Grrl's almost 3 years old, I'm still keeping myself active by going out with her, running around, chasing after her, dancing, swimming, and basically just being a Mom.


GENETICS

My Mom & 1yr old grumpy me ^_^ \m/

I think it's sort of true what they say. A woman ages like her mother. For me, I should hope so, because my Mom is still in pretty good shape and looks good! After giving birth, her body bounced back quickly, so I guess I get my genes from her. Phew!

But yeah, I guess you can't help this one. Although nothing is set in stone. Even if your Mom gained double her body weight through the years, that doesn't mean that you will inevitably follow in her footsteps.


MY FINAL THOUGHTS

The most recent full body-shot of me taken in April 2015 (3 years after giving birth).

Let me be very honest here. Yes, I lost 20kg after giving birth. Yes, I was the thinnest I had ever been in a very long time. But when my period finally returned when my daughter was about 1.5 years old, that's when my body realised that I was a woman and started to pump more estrogen once again. My hips came back, my thighs became juicier, my ass got bigger, my batwings waved hello, my tummy got soft and I gained about 10kg and counting. I can blame it on all the extra desserts I sneaked in, or hormones, or lack of intensive exercise. But no, I don't care - I shouldn't care - and neither should you. Being pregnant and giving birth is no easy feat. Sure, millions and billions of women go through it around the world, but it still does not diminish our amazing accomplishment. I am not saying you should just give up and drink lard by the tubs, eat a whole wedding cake for breakfast and snack on bacon bits secretly stashed away in your diaper bag. 

But I am urging all Moms out there to be happy with your post-baby body because it is a testament to the beautiful creation which you bore. I am writing this down as a reminder to myself as well, because there are days when I stare at the mirror after trying to squeeze myself into a pair of old jeans and I wonder wtf happened. Motherhood happened, that's what. 

So go through my list and try it out if you want. It may or not work for you. My body may or may not bounce back like it did before with my next pregnancy(ies). Who knows? And frankly, who cares? Embrace your curves.

I remember the day I was leaving the hospital to go home with my baby for the very first time and I was in the bathroom changing out of my hospital gown and into my lovely little dress. I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror, especially my saggy bulging midsection where my baby used to reside, and felt sheer horror for a split second.

"Is this what my body is going to look like forever and ever??"

 I wondered to myself. But then I could hear the excited chatter outside of my close friends, family and husband, oohing and aahing over the little miracle I pushed out of my body just 2 days earlier, and I smiled to myself, thinking, 

"I don't care. It was all worth it"

And you know what? Looking back almost 3 years later, with my beautiful Gemini Grrl by my side, with her radiant smile, cheeky antics, funny observations, effervescent personality, I feel that it definitely is all worth it. 

Every single kilogram.

Shoebox 4 Syria - Let's Make a Child Smile for Eid 2015

WHAT IS SHOEBOX 4 SYRIA?

Image Credit: Shoebox 4 Syria

Conceptualised in the UK last year (2014), a group of like-minded people decided that they wanted to help put a smile on the faces of displaced and refugee children in war-torn Syria, during the joyous month of Eid (2015). So using the simple but brilliant idea of filling a shoebox to the brim with thoughtful little presents, these gift-wrapped shoeboxes will then be collectively shipped over to Syria for the children to receive in time for Eid. 

:: PLEASE CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE OFFICIAL SHOEBOX4SYRIA WEBSITE ::

WHO ARE THE SYRIAN CHILDREN?

A young Syrian child thinks that the camera is a gun pointed at her, so raises her arms in surrender.
(Image Credit: Osman Sagirli)

Syria faces ongoing armed conflict which started out as anti-government protests but soon escalated into a full-scale civil war. More than 11 million people have been forced from their homes. Over 5 million are innocent children who are in need of emergency help. For them, the horrors of war is an everyday reality. Forced to leave their homes, school, friends, toys and all things familiar in their lives behind, all these children long for is a normal childhood once again. And what else can put a smile on their face? Being able to play and just be a child.

WHAT IS EID?

Eid ul Fitr marks the end of the holy fasting month of Ramadhan for all Muslims, and is a celebrated joyous festivity. It is a time to show happiness, pray, ask for forgiveness, and be charitable. Most people will decorate their homes and prepare great feasts for their family and friends. It is customary to give gifts especially to young children, or some cultures also give monetary gifts. Although Syria is a predominantly Muslim country, these Eid gifts will be distributed to all children regardless of their faith. Shoebox 4 Syria also welcomes donations from people of all walks of life :)

WHAT KIND OF SHOEBOX SHOULD YOU USE?

The box must have a lid.

It can be the usual cardboard shoebox you get when you buy some new shoes from a shop, or a small plastic storage box, or even a nice gift box you purchased (from Daiso, Ikea, Popular, etc). As long as it has a lid.


WHAT ARE THE AGE GROUPS OF THE CHILDREN?

Baby: 0 - 3yrs
Girl (Younger): 3 - 6yrs
Boy (Younger): 3 - 6yrs
Girl (Older): 7 - 11yrs
Boy (Older): 7 - 11yrs


WHAT SHOULD YOU PUT IN THE SHOEBOX?

Top L-R: Toothpaste, Toothbrushes, Skipping Rope, Stationary Set.

Bottom L-R: Cookies, Candy, Balloons, Notebooks.

This is your own Eid present for the children, so don't be too stressed about it and just give what you feel is in your heart, and what you think is appropriate for the age group. Here are a few of my own suggestions, as well as from the official website:

BABY - Bib, Rattle, Teethers, Ball, Baby Biscuits, Baby Blocks, Sensory-Play Items, Toothbrush & Toothpaste, Socks, Plush Toy, Sorting Toys.

BOYS - Toy Car, Ball, Comb, Toothbrush & Toothpaste, Playing Cards, Action Figure Toy, Puzzle, Marbles, Stickers, Candy, Lollipops, Cap, Colouring Pencils/ Crayons, Colouring Books.

Top L-R: Toothpaste, Toothbrushes, Skipping Rope, Stationary Set.
Bottom L-R: Cookies, Candy, Balloons, Notepads.

GIRLS - Skipping Rope, Hair Accessories, Ball, Toothbrush & Toothpaste, Doll, Puzzle, Beads & String, Stickers, Candy, Lollipops, Scarf, Colouring Pencils/ Crayons, Colouring Books.



DO'S & DON'TS

DO GIVE: 

a) Edible treats that are Halal
b) Age appropriate gifts

c) A variety of things
d) Things you think your own children would like

DON'T GIVE:
a) Chocolate
 b) Sharp items
c) Military-themed or toy weapons
d) Second-hand items
e) Tinned food

f) Any liquids

g) Anything that is easily breakable

h) Perishable items
i) Any toys that require batteries


HOW TO WRAP THE SHOEBOX?

Please wrap the box and the lid separately.

Use some nice wrapping paper to wrap the box and the lid SEPARATELY, and only use a rubber band to seal it shut. This is so that the organisers can check through the contents of each shoebox.

Seal the shoeboxes with rubber bands only and label each box clearly according to gender and age.

WHERE TO SEND THE SHOEBOX?

SINGAPURA DROP-OFF POINTS:

(2 locations)

71, BUKIT BATOK CRESCENT, #06-10 PRESTIGE CENTRE, S(658071)
(Drop-off times are between 1.00pm - 7.00pm)
DEADLINE IS SATURDAY 18th APRIL 2015!


956 DUNEARN ROAD, GARDENVISTA, #01-19, TOWER 4, S(589484)
(Drop-off times are between 10.00am - 6.00pm)
DEADLINE IS SATURDAY 18th APRIL 2015!

PLEASE NOTE THAT THERE IS A SHIPPING COST OF SGD$8.00/ 1KG FOR THE SHOEBOXES SENT FROM SG -> UK. SO PLEASE WEIGH YOUR BOXES AND KINDLY PREPARE EXACT PAYMENT IN CASH FOR THE SG VOLUNTEERS.
(1.2kg & below = SGD$8.00. Above 1.2kg will be considered as 2kg, and chargeable at $16)

UK DROP-OFF POINTS:

ISLAM HOUNSLOW, 307 WELLINGTON ROAD SOUTH,
HOUNSLOW, MIDDLESEX, TW4 5HL, LONDON
UNITED KINGDOM

There are several other drop-off points in the UK.
:: CLICK HERE TO FIND THE NEAREST LOCATION TO YOU ::

Image from Shoebox4Syria Facebook Page

*Please use the above-mentioned details when sending parcels to the UK to avoid tax and duty charges.

They will then be collectively shipped over to Syria (shipping costs from UK -> Syria will be made by the organisers).

MAKE A CASH DONATION INSTEAD

If you would like to make a cash donation instead, PLEASE CLICK HERE.


Thank you for doing your part to help bring a smile to a child's face, be it by donating an Eid gift, cash or just sharing the message. And bless you :)

Please Teach Your Children To Be Kind To Animals

Gemini Grrl (1yr old) with the neighbourhood kitty, Polly.

One of the moral values that definitely makes the list in our house is: 

Be Kind To Animals.

I have always loved animals ever since I was a little girl and we had a lot of pets growing up as well. Cats, rabbits, chickens, more cats, fish, turkeys, doves, turtles, hamsters, and even more cats. Living in a large 2-storey house in Brunei with a backyard, front lawn, artificial pond and fake waterfall, we had a lot of space for our small community of animals. We must have had about 20 cats at one point! My sister and I loved each and every one of them and every day was an opportunity for us to play with our furry/ feathered friends.

Our parents didn't particularly sit us down and specifically tell us to actually be kind to animals - they just were. So as children, we naturally would take our cues from the adults around us. My Mother bought a small rice cooker especially for our pet cats, and when she went to the wet market with my aunts, they would buy back some small fish (like the kind you put in Nasi Lemak), steam it until the bones are soft and then mash it altogether with the rice for all the cats to eat in the backyard. Sometimes, as a treat (or especially for the pregnant cats), they would stir in some egg into the rice as well.

Image credit: One Green Planet

I remember however that my Mother was completely petrified of snakes (and still is actually), so much so that she cannot even see an image of it on TV or even in a magazine. I on the other hand, for some reason have a complete phobia of lizards, especially house lizards. Just typing or saying the word "lizard" is already enough to make my skin crawl and I am actually grimacing right this very minute. I'm not sure what exactly caused this fear to begin with, since no one else in my family is scared of lizards. My sister isn't as scared of them as I am (she despises cockroaches though!), but I hate that I have this unreasonable fear. I know that they are harmless and so much smaller than I am. At least my Mother's dislike for snakes makes a bit of sense because some species are known to bite and can be very dangerous - so it's just a natural human reaction. But tiny little lizards on the other hand are probably more scared of me than I am of them.

However, I do not want my daughter to be scared of lizards, or snakes, or any other animal for that matter. I want her to love all animals and be kind to them. Lizards may gross me out, but I wouldn't want to bash one over the head with a broom (I just want it go far, far away from me! Haha). So when I see one lurking at my front door while I am clumsily fumbling for my keys, trying my hardest to scream in sheer terror, I put on a brave front and acknowledge my daughter's excited remarks of, "Look, Mommy! Up there! A baby lizard! So cute".

Me trying not to get too freaked out by the fake "tukae" (gecko). AARGH!!!!

Every now and then, I let her play with some educational games on the Tab, so would sometimes go through the Apps list to download new games. Once I came across a particular game marketed for little kids and the whole point of the game was to see how many ants you can smash with your fingers before they could eat all the candy! Sure, I am no saint and I do admit I have killed millions and billions of ants, mosquitoes and flies before - but I don't want to teach my daughter to sit there and aim to kill off little ants, be it animated or real, all in the name of "fun". There was also a children's song in one of my daughter's playlist that I have promptly deleted and banned, called "Baby Bumble Bee". Here are part of the sickening lyrics:

"I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee
Won't my Mommy be so proud of me
I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee -
Ouch! It just stung me!

I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee
Won't my Mother be so proud of me?
I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee -
Ew! It's so yucky!".

Why would anyone write such lyrics for a children's song?? And who's Mother would actually be proud of them for killing a baby bumble bee?? Some of you might think I'm overreacting and it's "just a song", but no, I don't like the message it's sending across to my child, so I have the right to keep such horrid stuff away from her.

Being kind to animals is something I feel all parents and teachers should teach to children, because it in turn makes them kind, compassionate and have empathy for other human beings as well. You've probably read countless reports of how some murderers would abuse or kill animals when they were children - most likely because animals are usually more helpless and are easy targets. Cruelty to animals is also one of the symptoms displayed by a future psychopath. If children are taught to be kind and caring towards animals, it will help them to value all lives and also prevent violent behaviour.

As parents, we should set good examples to our children as well and remember that their little eyes are always observing us and their ever attentive ears catch more than we think they do. So try your best not to smash a cockroach to death with such relish; Don't run through a flock of pigeons for no apparent reason except to just chase them off and laugh about it, Refrain from making any negative remarks about any animals, even if you have an unreasonable fear of them. As a Muslim, we are not allowed to eat pork, but that does not mean I will kick a pig if I saw one. We are also advised not to touch dogs (we can actually, and are also allowed to have them as pets, but there are several criterias we need to fulfill - another blog post for another time!), but that does not stop me and my husband from petting them or treating them with kindness as well.

Gemini Grrl's very first word was, "Cat", and she has a love for all animals (although she sometimes has this random fear of ants one day, but then is talking to them and feeding them her cookie crumbs the next day!). She squeals with delight every time she sees any animals on TV or in real life, and is already starting to ask for a pet cat. She enjoys it when I read her storybooks with animal characters. She cuddles all her animal plush toys, lovingly tucks them into bed and patiently nurses them when they apparently have boo-boos.

Someday, when she's a little older, I will let her adopt a pet of her choice, which will also teach her how to be responsible and caring for another life. But for now, we will stick to tea parties with her Panda, feeding stray cats around our neighbourhood, and singing nicer songs about being kind to all animals big and small.

Polly and my Gemini Grrl (1 yr old at the time) strolling side by side ^_^