To The Mom Of The Toddler Who Was Left Home Alone & Fell Out The Window

The view of the incident from my house. Circled in red is the man who was filming the whole thing.

Yesterday as I sat by my living room window trying to get some work done on my laptop, I heard a woman from the block across from mine screaming at the top of her lungs repeatedly. I didn't really think much about it at first because to be honest, my neighbourhood's a bit weird sometimes and there are all sorts of interesting characters around here every now and then (just a few days ago, I was wondering whether there was somebody at the playground downstairs attempting to sing rather badly, or perhaps it was just a cat giving birth to a watermelon). There is a Primary School literally around the corner and the boisterous students who are usually playing downstairs make questionable wildlife sounds as well, so I did not think anything was amiss. But the screaming did not stop and she seemed like she was really in distress. 

Then I heard a man shouting, "Hello! Hello! Hello!!". Still thinking that perhaps it was a domestic dispute or a lovers' quarrel, I peeked out the window to see what all the fuss was about. I spotted a man standing on the grass and staring up towards the other block - he appeared to be holding his handphone and filming something up there. From my angle, I was unable to see what exactly he was watching unfold before him, but a small crowd started to form and I could hear everyone's panicked voices filling the air.

A woman gasped in horror. School students were pointing upwards. Mothers tightly clutched their young ones. What on earth was happenining, I wondered? Was there a big dramatic fight scene going on at the balcony and those people were nosy spectators? Is somebody contemplating suicide by jumping to their deaths and the bystanders are watching in horror? Or did someone accidentally fall out the window and is holding on for dear life while everyone else is holding their breaths preparing for the worst?

Circled in red is the foreignn worker running to the scene, as the bystanders watched helplessly.

Then, I spotted a foreign worker from across the road running towards the ever-growing crowd. He gazed up at what they were staring at, and immediately - without even hesitating for one minute - sprang into action and scaled up the walls to offer his assistance to whoever it was that was on the 2nd floor (I deduced that by now because that was the only unit occupied, from what I could see, except for the 8th floor and up (which was too high from how I observed where the crowd was looking at). People gasped and were calling out in fright. Sirens wailed and the emergency response team arrived on the scene within minutes. They took out a ladder and swiftly climbed up, and upon descending, I watched in absolute horror as I realised that the victim they had just rescued was a small child, probably about Gemini Grrl's age! She was only wearing a diaper and she clutched tightly to her rescuer as everyone heaved sighs of relief.

How the hell did a tiny toddler get herself into such a dangerous situation to begin with?? Where was her Mother?? How could she let this happen??

From the news reports that followed, and according to the short interviews of the child's parents, the little girl was asleep and her Mother had to send her other daughter to school nearby. Apparantly it was about 5 minutes from their house, so she thought she could slip away and be back home again within 10 minutes or so before her younger daughter woke up. Now, before we all start bashing the woman and saying she is irresponsible or stupid or not fit to be a parent, let me just say that as much as I do not condone what she did, nor am I defending her (I don't know her, she is not a friend of mine, we may live in the same neighbourhood but I have never seen her or her kids before in my whole entire life), let us just think WHY a Mother of 3 would even do that in the first place.

Circled in red is the unit where the family lives, on the 2nd floor.
Their windows are wide open and there are no safety grilles installed.

In one of her interviews, she explains that she has no help whatsoever from anybody. It has been made known that her husband is the sole breadwinner, so I guess it's right to say that she is a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) with no maid and no help to watch her kids, do the chores, or run her errands. We all know that when babies and toddlers do not get enough sleep or miss their naps, they get cranky as hell and turn into tantrum-throwing unreasonable grumpy things. From the sounds of it, she has probably left her child at home alone before while she quickly popped out to send her other children to school and all that.

Ok, Momma, if you're reading this, please do so carefully. It is NOT ok to leave your child alone at home by themselves, especially since they are still so young. No matter how fast you think you will be, no matter how nearby the distance of the place that you're popping to is, no matter if you're child is asleep and you really don't want to wake her up just so you can drag her across the street to send off her older sibling to preschool for all of 10 minutes - under no circumstances is it ever safe to leave your young child unattended, without supervision, for any amount of time at all.

I am not angry at you. I do not think you are stupid. I do not think you deserve to have all your 3 children snatched away from you, thrown into foster care and all parental rights revoked indefinitely. I do not think you are irresponsible. What I do think is that you are just unaware of the dangers of leaving your toddler all alone by herself at home. What I do think is that you underestimated the life-threatening dangers that surround your small child every corner of your own home. What I do think is that perhaps you were a little overwhelmed by being a SAHM to 3 young children, with no help whatsoever, just trying to do the best you can to keep your head above water. And without a doubt, I know you as a Mother would never intentionally want to put your own flesh and blood in any harm.

But unfortunately things turned out the way they did. I assume your little daughter woke up from her nap earlier than she normally does, to an empty house and started to search for her Mother and siblings. She must have wandered around and eventually ended up out on the balcony where she thought maybe she could get a better view of you crossing the road on your usual routine to send off her sister to school. So she probably climbed up onto something that was there and somehow lost balance, and tumbled over the edge, as there were no safety grilles installed there. 

My cloth-rack railings which are identical to the ones where the little girl fell through.
(And yes, I know I have an animal-print obsession)

Now by luck and by the grace of God, her body slipped through the metal railings of the clothes-drying rack, but her head got caught and she therefore did not fall through. But she was dangling there by her neck, kicking furiously and crying out for help. She could have broken her neck, or fallen through and fell 2 storeys down - a very nasty fall for a child that small. If the quick-thinking foreign worker had not acted swiftly, then she could have been seriously injured. If a good samaritan did not call for help, then the SCDF would not have reached there in time.

To the Mother and Father of this little girl who is the focus of today's news across the nation - please get safety grilles installed on all your windows and at the balcony, because you have 3 children (and a cat!) living in your house. I know it's not cheap. I know you have mountains of bills to pay. I know you have many mouths to feed. I know that life in Singapura is not a bed of roses for some as others may think. I know you think this freak accident couldn't possibly happen twice. Just please, think about the safety of your little ones. 

From what I can see in the interviews, you have a lovely little couch where the family sat on to answer the reporter's questions. Your daughter was fiddling around with an iPad. You have pretty curtains by your windows. You have clean clothes on your back. If you bought all of that with your own hard-earned money, then kindly consider spending part of your budget on such safety measures immediately. If those items were donated to you by generous friends and family members, then please ask them to help sponsor your grilles as soon as possible. The safety and welfare of your children should come first. Maybe it did not cross your mind that it is a vital feature you should consider adding in your home, and your reason is that you do not have the budget for it. If you have the money for all the other things I mentioned above, then you do have the money to get safety grilles installed. I know it'll set you back a couple of hundred dollars. I know times are tough. I know the public transportation fees are rising. I know the prices of everything are soaring. I know, boy do I know. But I also know that you do not ever want this incident to repeat ever again.

The foreign worker fearlessly climbing up to save the frightened toddler, who is dangling by her neck.
Photo: Youtube/ Alvin Tan

And if you still are unable to afford it, then ok, I understand. No, really, I honestly and sincerely do. Daily necessities are your top priority and you are just trying your best to make end's meet. Not everyone realises that we do not all have the same privileges or opportunities given to us in life. 

Just please, from now on, never ever leave your child alone at home or anywhere else without supervision for that matter. NO that is NOT ok. You may not not have realised the risks of this before, but NOW YOU KNOW. So please let this be a lesson learnt. A lesson learnt for all of you out there as well. It is easy to point fingers and judge others and call them names. But sometimes we forget that we are all human too. We make mistakes as well. We are not all perfect parents. Yes, what the Mother did was wrong, and it was splashed all over the news so she has an angry mob after her now. But haven't we all done something we wish we could undo? Haven't we all made poor choices as parents? Or turned around for one second, only to realise our child has managed to get themselves into a sticky situation?

I for one have had my Bad Parent Moment 2 years ago at my own home, when Gemini Grrl was about 1 year's old. I was folding laundry in her room and she was right next to me, sitting inside the laundry basket, pretending it was a boat and giggling away uncontrollably. She then got up and ran into my bedroom just next door. As I called out to her and got up from the floor to go bring her back in, I heard a sickening thud and as I took just 2 steps forward to look into my room, I saw her lying on the ground, moaning. Within the 3 seconds that she had ran out of her room where I was, she managed to clamber up onto my bed and then leapt off, landing in a crumpled heap on the cold hard floor, head-first. I screamed in sheer terror and ran to scoop her up. She was conscious and then started to cry in pain. A humongous bump formed on her forehead and I immediately rushed her to the emergency room, crying hysterically all the way there. She was fine in the end and did not suffer a concussion or any internal bleeding. 

But I still feel like that was the absolute worse parenting moment I made in my whole entire life of being a Mother and I was a complete failure. I swear to God it just took 3 seconds for her to run out of the room, climb onto the bed and fall on her head, as I was still sitting cross-legged on the floor, getting myself up and about to walk over to bring her back to my pile of laundry. I was not in the toilet with the door closed while she watched tv alone in the living room. I was not in the kitchen cooking up a 5-course meal as she played by herself in her room. And I certainly did not pop out to the nearby 7'11s to buy a bag of chips while she remained unsupervised at home. The 3 seconds was more than enough for her to get injured and earn her a trip to the children's hospital.

The Mother, the child, the Father and her older sister.
(Photo: TNP/ Benjamin Seetor)

We may never know what that toddler's Mother was thinking when she felt it was absolutely fine to leave her sleeping child unattended, and they may never install safety grilles in their house even after this unfortunate incident. But let's not make things worse for them by wishing them ill intentions, or proposing that social services take their children away for good - because no family should be torn apart. Granted that this case did showcase some poor parenting choices made, but do we really want to rip the innocent children from their parents' arms and send them off to a shelter somewhere, waiting in limbo for an unknown future?

Let's just say thank you to the two brave foreign workers who went to the poor child's aid without a second thought. And also to the SCDF team for doing a good job. As well as everyone else who helped in any way. Let us wish the parents well and hope that they will rethink their actions from now on and take the extra precaution to put their children's safety and welfare first.

Please remember that no matter how much or how little money you have, your children are irreplaceable and should always be your number one priority. You are lucky that this story had a happy ending. You are lucky that there were people there to come to her rescue. You are lucky that your child is still alive and well.You are very, very lucky indeed.


*UPDATE: The MP of our Town Council has visited the family and by using some charity funds, has kindly helped to get safety grilles installed on all the windows in the house. 

12 Realistic Jobs For Stay At Home Moms (SAHMs) That Actually Pay

Me acting as "Lucy", for a drama show to raise awareness about cyber-bullying.

You either were a career woman with a stable job at first and left the workforce to take care of your little one fulltime, or you have always planned on becoming a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) and talked things through with your spouse so that you will be there for your child every step of the way since day one. Whatever it is, being a SAHM isn't easy and no matter what your financial background is, relying on only one income may have it's drawbacks sometimes.

I myself have always been working on a freelance basis ever since I graduated - save for the brief period where I was working part-time at an animal concerns society - so the nature of my work has always been on a project-basis and my schedule has usually quite flexible. Growing up, both my parents worked so my younger sister and I were practically raised by our aunts and our live-in maid. But most of the times, we were left to our own devices and would keep each other company for the most part of the day and weekends. I remember during my toddlerhood how my own Mother was a SAHM and she only got a fulltime job shortly after my sister was born. 

In an ideal world, I would love to be a SAHM/ WAHM (Work At Home Mom) forever and take care of my child's every need, shuttle her to & fro for her various classes or playdates, have the luxury of being there when she needs me without having to check my schedule or ask my Boss for time off - but living in what has been ranked the most expensive city for 2 years running now has brought me back down to reality. Although I am still currently a WAHM right now, I fear that once the time comes for Gemini Grrl to start preschool (when she turns 4yrs old), the choice school that I have selected will force me to find a more stable job which will provide a steadier income. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

What exactly do I currently do as a WAHM, you ask? How do I earn money from the comfort of my own home while my daughter sits right beside me moulding cupcakes out of playdough? What do I do to contribute to our monthly household income so that I have a bit of pocket money to buy whatever my heart desires (it's usually new clothes for my daughter, or restocking the snack cupboard to the brim, or for once treating my husband to a lovely dinner out), without depending on someone else all the time? It's a mish mash of different things to be honest, but mostly the same sort of projects which I have already been doing long before my little one came along - which includes writing, acting, directing, and teaching - and I have no help whatsoever so solely rely on my husband (and on the rare occasion, my Mother) to keep an eye on Gemini Grrl while I'm out bringing home the (extra) bacon.

Read on about my list of 12 realistic jobs for Stay At Home Moms and find out how you can earn a few extra bucks while still being a SAHM, or possibly even get a long-term gig going on to qualify as a WAHM :D

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1
PRIVATE TUTOR

Image from Inmagine

In this day and age, (and especially in Singapura) parents are eager to let their children excel academically, so private tutors are in high demand. Just do a search online and filter for assignments by subject to teach, location, age of student, and rates offered. If you are NIE-trained or are an ex teacher, the rates may be a little higher - but they will also consider your other qualifications and experience. You can either opt to go to the student's house, or teach at a tuition centre, or maybe even have the student travel to  your house. There is a wide range of subjects in demand and the age range of students can start from Kindergarten level (!!) to Primary, Secondary and even adults. If you go through a tuition agency, then be prepared for them to take some commission. You can choose your timeslots for the evenings or weekends (so that your husband is home from work and can watch your bub), or whichever time that your child is away in preschool.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - No

Do you need outside help - Yes & No

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2

WEB DESIGNER

Image from Inmagine

For the tech-savvy mommas out there, you can put your computer knowledge to good use. All you need is a computer/ laptop, internet connection and web-skills to design or build and maintain a website. You probably don't ever have to leave the home, except when meeting your client to get more details about what exactly they need - and depending on where you meet up (and how nice they are), you can probably bring your little one along with you as well.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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3
WRITER

Image from Inmagine

I have been doing this for many years now and it has become my bread and butter. It is the only job that I can do purely from home and don't really have to meet anyone at all. I get details via email or over the phone and just type away. Rarely would I have to meet up with clients for brainstorming and even if I have to, it's usually a casual meeting over coffee anyway, so my daughter is more than welcome to be there. You can write scripts for drama companies or production houses, articles for magazines, features on blogs, and much more. 

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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4

ONLINE SELLER

Image from Inmagine

This is another avenue I would like to explore in the near future. From the comfort of your own home, you can sell clothes, accessories, handicraft, home decor pieces, toys, books - the possibilities are endless! You just have to source for the right supplier and simply set up a blogshop on the internet. Whether or not you want a fancy website, is entirely up to you. I've seen some Facebook pages set up selling stuff online and they're doing very well. At the end of the day, it's the products you're selling that need to impress customers, after all.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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5

BABYSITTER

Image from Inmagine

Since you're already taking care of your own child, why not look after another one for just a few hours and get paid for it? Some parents look for reliable adults to send or pick up their child from school and keep them company at home for a short period of time before either one gets home from work. Sometimes, they might just need a date night (don't we all??), so are looking for mature babysitters to watch over their little ones. Depending on the arrangements, you might even be able to let the child play at your house, or even if you have to go over to theirs, some parents are ok with your own bub/ tot joining in as well. Better yet if you can find a child to babysit who lives in the same block or neighbourhood as you.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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6
PHOTOGRAPHER

Image from Inmagine

Not only can you sell your photographs to those who appreciate your work, but you can also offer your services as a professional photographer for events such as birthday parties, weddings, graduations, engagements, corporate dinners, etc. Most of which would probably occur in the evenings or weekends, so hopefully your husband will be off from work to take over parental duties as you're out snapping pictures and bringing in the dough. Or if it's just a short photoshoot, you can bring your child along as well. If things take off well, then you can also consider converting one of your rooms into a studio and offer competitive rates for private studio shoots.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes & No

Do you need outside help - Yes & No

***

7
PARTY PLANNER & DECORATOR

Image from Inmagine

I may be stereotyping here, but a lot of SAHMs/ WAHMs are addicted to Pinterest (guilty as charge! Haha!), and have probably pinned 3527 ideas about our tot's upcoming birthday bash (umm, or is that just me??). So why not turn our party-planning skills into something that can generate income? Set up a simple website listing out your services and just liase with clients over the phone while you're still in your pajamas, sprawled out on your couch. If you have to go down to the venue to put up decorations and all that, I'm sure your little one can patiently wait for you, or amuse themselves by playing with a colourful balloon while Mommy's rolling up her sleeves.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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8
PETSITTER/ WALKER

Image from Inmagine

Some people may require someone to help walk their dog if their work schedules are super hectic. Or they may even need you to watch their pets for a few days while they are out of the country for work or on holiday. This is actually a cheaper option for them rather than to put their pet at one of those "pet hotels", plus they have the peace of mind knowing that their furry friend will have more attention given to them staying at somebody's house, rather than being boarded up with hundreds of other 4-legged critters.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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9
BEAUTICIAN

Image from Inmagine

Either you can become a Make Up Artist who goes out for assignments on the weekends for weddings and such, or you can offer your services as a Manicurist/ Pedicurist, Hair Stylist, or even Ladies' Masseuse - the selling point is that you do house-calls! Haven't you always longed for a beauty session to be done right in your own home where you can keep an eye on your child, instead of dragging them out to a spa somewhere and worry if they're going to knock anything over or eat something they're not supposed to? I'm sure lots of other women out there would appreciate these services offered door to door :) I have met some enterprising women who have also converted one of their rooms into a mini beauty parlour, so their kids can be playing in the next room while Mommy is earning some moola. Plus if you're over at someone's house to paint their nails, they probably wouldn't really mind if your bub was there as well (away from the fumes of course). 

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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10
PERSONAL SHOPPER

Image from Inmagine

Seriously, some people are just so busy that they need to hire extra helping hands to run basic errands for them. Pick up their dry-cleaning, do some grocery shopping, shop for a nice new outfit. Whatever it is, since you're basically out there buying stuff around town, I don't see why you couldn't bring your child with you for these runs. This can probably done at your own time and pace as well, because people don't usually require 2kg of frozen chicken or a new hat PRONTO. What a dream, getting paid to shop!

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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11
FITNESS INSTRUCTOR

Image from Inmagine

For all the fit moms out there, why not teach a Yoga/ Aerobics/ Pilates/ Zumba class or something? Not only do you get a workout, but you'll actually be paid for it as well! Or tailor a Mommy & Baby Yoga class so that you can use your own darling bub as an example while leading the class. Other SAHMs would probably love this opportunity to get their babies involved in their fitness regime as well. Or leave the wee one at home with Daddy, while you go to the nearby gym or sports complex to work up a sweat and roll in the cash.

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes & No

Do you need outside help - Yes & No

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12

SMALL-SCALE CATERER

Image from Inmagine

If you have some decent cooking or baking skills, then why not offer small-scale catering packages? Bake a huge batch of pretty cupcakes for a Baby Shower, or whip up some tasty mini quiches for an engagement party - just keep the orders small and don't overwhelm yourself. You'll only have to leave the house to deliver the goods and maybe set it up at the event venue, but you can probably bring your child along as well for this. If your child is old enough, then maybe they could even lend a helping hand as well? :)

VERDICT:

Can work from home - Yes & No

Can your little one tag along - Yes

Do you need outside help - No

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So there you have it! 12 realistic jobs for Stay At Home Moms (SAHMs) that actually pay! No gimmicks, no fees to pay, no headaches. If you still feel that none of the above-mentioned jobs are suitable for you, fret not, just think carefully about what set of skills you have and try to figure out how to monetise that. Can you sew? Be a seamstress, or kids' costume maker, or sew your own handicrafts. Do you have a pleasant voice? Be a hotline operator over the phone, or voice-over talent, or singing coach. I'm sure you must have something worthwhile to offer and there are people out there willing to pay good money for your services.

But if not, then nevermind, just remember that your fulltime job as a 24/7 Mother to your precious little ones is already absolutely priceless :)

FUN QUIZ: Which Type of Mommy Are You?

Image from Inmagine

I remember coming up with short quizzes like this back in highschool (because I clearly wasn't paying enough attention in class, haha!) and my friends would fill them out for fun (and because they were obviously not digging the classes either). So fast forward to a decade later and here I am again, coming up with a silly little quiz all in the name of fun. Just go through the questions below, remember your answers (or write them down somewhere) and check out the answers at the end to determine your type! Remember though, this is all in the name of fun and I am not a certified psychologist by any means ;)

QUIZ: WHICH TYPE OF MOMMA ARE YOU?

Q1
At the playground, your toddler is playing in the sandpit and you suddenly spot them putting some sand into their mouth and eating it! How do you react to this?

Image from Inmagine

A) You quickly clear as much sand out of their mouth as you can, then wipe their face and hands with antibacterial wet-wipes. Then you sit closely by them and help them build sandcastles, not chow down on "sandwiches"!

B) You just laugh it off. It's ok, a little bit of sand won't hurt them. But you keep a closer eye on them so they won't help themselves to another serving!

C) You explain that eating sand might make them feel ill and remind them that sand is for playing and not for eating.

D) You post a question on an online forum to ask the other Mommies for their opinion about what you should do next and whether your tot will be alright.

E) You are glad that there wasn't any cat poop in the sand and hope that your little one won't get sick after this unexpected snack.

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Q2
Whilst on a long flight going for your family holiday, your child starts to get restless and won't sit still. How do you handle this?

Image from Inmagine

A) Whip out your pre-packed bag of quiet activities for them to occupy themselves, and ask the flight attendant for any free kids toys.

B) Sing some songs with them and then flip through the in-flight magazine, pointing out the colourful pictures. 

C) Give them an assortment of organic snacks you have in your bag and distract them by showing them the funny cloud formations outside the window.

D) Turn on their favourite educational cartoon on their iPad to keep them happy, and hopefully you can also get a quick shut-eye.

E) Try to get your child to have a nap, and feel grateful that there has been no turbulence so far.

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Q3
Your child is complaining of a tummy ache one night after dinner. What do you do?

Image from Inmagine

A) Noticed that they were not really eating well at dinnertime, so suspect that it could be due to something else they ate earlier on in the day.

B) Give them a warm bath and let them go to bed early. They should be ok in the morning.

C) Make them drink some peppermint tea to help naturally ease their tummy ache.

D) Google their symptoms to see what exactly could be the cause and whether or not you should bring them to see the Doctor immediately.

E) Rub some soothing essential oils on their tummy area and pray they get well soon.

***

Q4
Your little one's birthday is coming up! How will you celebrate it?

Image from Inmagine

A) A fun-filled themed party after careful observation as to what are your child's favourite characters, colours, activities and food. You will be sure to invite all their friends!

B) You're not sure yet. You'll think about it more when it's a little closer to the date. It'll still be a very special day anyway no matter what you decide do or who you celebrate it with.

C) A lovely little party with handmade decorations and a home-cooked buffet spread (mostly inspired by Pinterest!), at your house or the park with a nice outdoor playground.

D) Whatever is the most popular place to hold children's parties this year - it could be an indoor playground, a family-friendly restaurant or a specialised activities studio. Less hassle on your part, but still lots of fun for the little guests!

E) An intimate family gathering with a delectable feast and a few activities to occupy the children, after which you will make a heartfelt speech thanking everyone for attending and express your gratitude for your child's health thus far.

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Q5
You are picking out a new preschool for your child. What will seal the deal for you?

Image from Inmagine

A) The teacher-student ratio, the safety precautions in the school, the overall standard of hygiene and the general layout of the classrooms.

B) Whether the fees are reasonable, if the location of the school is easily accessible, the quality of the overall curriculum.

C) The various activities offered, whether it is a more play-based approach, if the meals provided are organic and allergy-friendly.

D) Hearing positive feedback from other people you know, reading positive reviews online, whether the teachers regularly update you with your child's weekly progress and how well-maintained the whole school is.

E) If you have a good vibe from the teachers, generally get a positive feeling when you visit the school, and you notice how happy the other current students are.

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Q6
Your kid asks if they could have a pet. What do you feel about this?

Image from Inmagine

A) You're not sure if they are old enough to be responsible for a pet, so you talk them through all the special duties they would have to be in charge of and make a deal with that if they behave well and show their maturity, you will consider this request.

B) You go out and get them a goldfish and tell them that they have to make sure to feed it every single day, as well as help you change the water every once in a while.

C) You bring them to an animal shelter to adopt a furry friend and remind them that a pet is for life and they have to promise to be responsible for this new addition to the family.

D) You buy them a realistic-looking electronic toy pet instead - no stinky litter trays, no tiring walks, no little accidents on the carpet, no extra mouth to feed, no expensive vet visits, and no sad funerals to think of!

E) You bring your child to borrow a bunch of books from the library about different kinds of pets, their needs and wants, and tell them the great responsibilities of being a pet-owner, before letting them decide once again if they still really want one.

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Q7
While trying to pour themselves a cup of juice, your child accidentally spills it all over the kitchen floor. What is your reaction to this?

Image from Inmagine

A) You already reminded them that if they made a mess then they would have to clean it up. But you help them and then give them a juice-box instead.

B) You pour them another cup of juice, tell them to go drink it in the living room, and then wipe up the juice puddle with some paper towels.

C) You ask them to help you clean up the spilled juice with a kitchen towel, and then talk them through how to pour themselves another cup without spilling it this time.

D) You tell them it's ok, it was a good try, but they should be more careful the next time. Then you help them pour a new cup of juice.

***

Q8
You are just not in the mood to cook today, but it's almost lunchtime. What will you feed your child?

Image from Inmagine

A) You already have some lovely home-cooked frozen meals especially for days like these, so just pick one out of the freezer to heat up in time for lunch.

B) There are plenty of yummy leftovers in the fridge from last night's dinner and will still taste good today. No big deal.

C) You pick an easy recipe from your cookbook and get your child to help prepare a quick but delicious meal which requires only a few ingredients and minimal effort.    

D) You call for a hot and tasty meal to be delivered to your house within the hour.

E) You muster up the strength to cook a very simple but nutritious and hearty pot of chicken and vegetable soup.

***

Q9
Someone gives you unwanted advice about your parenting technique. How do you feel about this?

Image from Inmagine

A) You listen to them for a while, and then politely but firmly explain why you do the things you do and remind them what works for you may not work for others, and only you would know your own child well.

B) Shrug it off. Everyone has their own beliefs and methods. They probably don't mean any harm and just wanted to give some advice. But to each their own, right?

C) Tell them why you subscribe to this method, give them more details about the pros, and highlight the fact that this is has been going well for you and your child thus far.

D) Start a friendly discussion about the different parenting techniques out there, then conclude it by saying that you're just doing whatever feels right for you, your child and your current situation.

E) Just smile and thank them for express their concerns, but reassure them you know what's best for your child and so far things have being going well, and if you need any more advice from them in future, you will be sure to ask.

***

Q10
There is a power black-out in your whole neighbourhood and your house is also affected. What do you do in this situation?

Image from Inmagine

A) You have prepared a box of quiet activities for such emergencies to keep your little one happy and occupied including little flashlights to make the dark less scary, then go to your fuse box to see if you can fix the problem yourself.

B) You open all the windows to let some air in and just wait it out with your child right by your side, and sing them a lullaby to get them to go back to sleep.

C) You explain your child what exactly is happening and how you can still survive without electricity, then put up a tent indoors and pretend that you are all camping.

D) You call the power company up on your phone to see what the problem is and to ask how long it will take until everything is back to normal.

E) You wander outside to ask your neighbours if they know what the cause is, then go back inside and tell your child a few nice stories to soothe them until the power is back up again.

***

RESULTS

MOSTLY A's:
 ALL-SEEING MUMMY

Image from Inmagine

You are quite the knowledgeable one and stand firm with your own beliefs. You are very intuitive to your child's wants and needs and know exactly what to do at all times. You have good foresight and are always prepared for anything! You most likely have a well-stocked diaper bag filled to the brim with essential supplies, various toys, an assortment of snacks and a long list of emergency numbers. You know how to take charge, are a strong woman and have a thirst for knowledge.


MOSTLY B's:

CHILLAX MOM

Image from Inmagine

Nothing really fazes you and you just don't let anything get to you. You are calm, collected and certainly will not break under pressure. You know what you're doing and just go with the flow most of the time. You try not to get so worked up or stressed out over things you can't control and will even let your child take the lead while you are there to guide them along the way. You are pleasant to be around and easy to talk to. Your motto is probably, "No worries, be happy!".

MOSTLY C's:

GREEN MOMMA

Image from Inmagine

You prefer organic food and natural products as you feel it is better for your family. You are a sensitive soul and responsive to your children's needs. You are very kind, patient and understanding. You also take the holistic approach, are naturally gentle and nurturing by nature. You strongly feel that kids should just be kids and don't want them to grow up too soon, but at the same time you encourage their independence and give them lots of freedom.

MOSTLY D's:

MODERN MUM

Image from Inmagine

You are up to date with all the current trends and latest gadgets. You feel that the children of today's generation should embrace technology because that is the way of the future. You are ambitious, determined, and would gladly spend every single penny on your child just to make them happy. You want your child to succeed and will push them to be the best that they can be.

MOSTLY E's:

SPIRITUAL MOTHER

Image from Inmagine

You have traditional values and love to impart your wisdom to your children. You have a wonderful positive attitude and always know how to look on the bright side of things. You are also a very grateful person and thankful for each passing day. You see your children as a blessing and vow to teach them to be kind and generous to all those around them, and that they may grow up to be caring, compassionate and respectful adults.

How I Lost My Baby Weight (& Then Some!)

Me & Gemini Grrl in 2014 (when she was turning 2yrs old)

My weight has always been an issue for me while growing up, and even up until this very day in fact. Being one of the tallest girls in class, I stuck out like a sore thumb. Looking back, I don't think I was even medically overweight and definitely far from being obese, but the few extra pounds I had that tipped the scale were apparently enough for me to be the target of body-shaming - from my immature classmates, to my insensitive relatives.

My weight would fluctuate and it is a struggle I am still facing now. Some people say my body is absolutely fine and my own husband says he loves me just the way I am, but I guess it's hard to shake off these insecurities when you've gotten picked on, teased, ostracised and bullied for your natural body type.

So when I finally got pregnant, I was completely over the moon because we had been trying for a few years, but at the same time a tiny part of me was worried about how much weight I was going to gain and if I would balloon up like a whale.

Although I was one of those lucky ones who did not suffer from morning sickness at all and did not throw up even once throughout my entire pregnancy, I did suffer from a bit of dizziness at times and waves of nausea every now and then, and didn't really have much of an appetite (which is very strange for me because I am such a foodie). So during my first trimester, I actually lost weight!

Then post-pregnancy, I lost even more weight than I had prior to being pregnant! Yes, you can hate me now, sorry. Haha! :P I did not take any magic pills, nor did I go for expensive liposuction or anything. It was actually not that hard at all (I am SO praying that this will be true for the next time get pregnant again!). So here are my own theories as to how exactly I shed the baby weight within just 1 month after giving birth.

BREASTFEEDING

Image source: weBegirls

Did you know that when you are breastfeeding, you are actually burning up to 500 calories a day?? Apparently that's the same as:

a) Jogging for 1 HOUR
b) Swimming for 1 HOUR
c) Mowing the lawn for 2 HOURS
d) Tennis for 1 HOUR
e) Horse riding for 2 HOURS
f) Water aerobics for 2 HOURS
g) Rock climbing for 1 HOUR

No wonder I'm so hungry all the time! I am actually still breastfeeding until now (Gemini Grrl is turning 3yrs old in a few months' time), and plan on stopping whenever she is done with it. 

DIET

Thai Crispy Fish Salad in Banana Flower Petal. (Image by Imagine)

No, please do not go on a diet. I personally believe that diets are absolute bullsh*t. However, it is good to watch your diet. Eat whatever you want, but everything must be in moderation. After giving birth, my Mom cooked me traditional Thai Confinement Food and would send it over piping hot to my house almost every morning before she went to work. This would include hot soups (lots of liquid intake is good for breastfeeding moms), banana flower (to promote lactation - trust me, this worked REALLY well!), pepper, ginger (both to help expel wind. Mmm, lovely. LOL!), chicken liver/ gizzard/ heart (to help replenish my blood loss), plenty of fruit and vegetables (for fibre and vitamins). I was also advised to avoid eating anything too sugary as it was empty calories and wouldn't really do much for my health anyway (I won't lie though, I did indulge in the occasional macaron and cupcake!).

Drink LOTS of water to help flush your body out because of water retention (sounds weird, I know, drink water to get rid of excess water??), but apparantly this is so. Soups and porridge will keep you full for longer, so maybe that's why I was pretty content eating 3 bowls of soup a day, without hearing any complaining from my tummy.

POST-NATAL MASSAGE & TUMMY WRAP

Image by Imagine

If you read my previous post about my TTC tips, you'll remember that I mentioned traditional massage as part of my TTC journey. Well, I used the same masseuse for my post-natal massages and she would come to my house with all her oils and wraps each time. I would get a lovely relaxing massage for about 1 hour each time and she would end it off with wrapping me up tightly in a tummy binder, which would help get me back into shape. 

1 month after giving birth, my tummy was FLAT. Oh, ignore my grimacing face - I am NOT a fan of the lizard family :S

I admit, I was a little skeptical at first and wasn't sure what exactly to expect, but I swear to God that just 1 month after giving birth (and only 2 weeks of these massages + tummy wraps), my body was more in shape than it was BEFORE I was even pregnant!!!! My tummy was absolutely FLAT and I think looked even better than it had in yearssss. I even wore a CROP TOP for my bub's very first outing to the nearby park. Hell, I wouldn't even wear one NOW, but I was feeling super happy with my post-baby body. You have to wear the tight wrap for at least 6 hours though (the longer the better) and it is VERY uncomfortable. Some people don't even last more than 2 hours. But there are some who will wear it to sleep! 

Not only is the massage relaxing for you, but it helps with your blood circulation, reduces water retention, expels wind, gets your womb back into place, and well, come on, you deserve to treat yourself! I am actually tempted to call the masseuse up again to wrap my my cake belly right now :P

EXERCISE

Image from Imagine

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Only joking. I wasn't exercising at all. Well, at least not in the gym anyway. Ain't nobody got time fo dat! Especially when you're a SAHM with no help whasoever, your husband's at work and you're left all alone at home staring at the new precious little bundle of joy that you have absolutely no friggin' clue what to do with. Getting up at all hours of the night, rocking my baby to sleep, running to the bathroom to pee when my bubs was asleep - all that was enough exercise for me already! 

But honestly though, if you were active during your pregnancy, then not only will that help with a faster delivery (mine was 7 hours in total from start to finish), but it also helps you to easily shed the post-pregnancy weight. If you have the energy and luxury of working out after your baby is here, then go for it! I miss being inside the gym as well, but seriously could not be bothered anymore right now. But you can just burn a few extra calories by doing everyday stuff. Baby-wearing, carrying your ever-growing baby, take a brisk walk with your little one in a stroller, take the stairs, go window-shopping with your girlfriends. Every little effort counts, trust me.

Now that Gemini Grrl's almost 3 years old, I'm still keeping myself active by going out with her, running around, chasing after her, dancing, swimming, and basically just being a Mom.


GENETICS

My Mom & 1yr old grumpy me ^_^ \m/

I think it's sort of true what they say. A woman ages like her mother. For me, I should hope so, because my Mom is still in pretty good shape and looks good! After giving birth, her body bounced back quickly, so I guess I get my genes from her. Phew!

But yeah, I guess you can't help this one. Although nothing is set in stone. Even if your Mom gained double her body weight through the years, that doesn't mean that you will inevitably follow in her footsteps.


MY FINAL THOUGHTS

The most recent full body-shot of me taken in April 2015 (3 years after giving birth).

Let me be very honest here. Yes, I lost 20kg after giving birth. Yes, I was the thinnest I had ever been in a very long time. But when my period finally returned when my daughter was about 1.5 years old, that's when my body realised that I was a woman and started to pump more estrogen once again. My hips came back, my thighs became juicier, my ass got bigger, my batwings waved hello, my tummy got soft and I gained about 10kg and counting. I can blame it on all the extra desserts I sneaked in, or hormones, or lack of intensive exercise. But no, I don't care - I shouldn't care - and neither should you. Being pregnant and giving birth is no easy feat. Sure, millions and billions of women go through it around the world, but it still does not diminish our amazing accomplishment. I am not saying you should just give up and drink lard by the tubs, eat a whole wedding cake for breakfast and snack on bacon bits secretly stashed away in your diaper bag. 

But I am urging all Moms out there to be happy with your post-baby body because it is a testament to the beautiful creation which you bore. I am writing this down as a reminder to myself as well, because there are days when I stare at the mirror after trying to squeeze myself into a pair of old jeans and I wonder wtf happened. Motherhood happened, that's what. 

So go through my list and try it out if you want. It may or not work for you. My body may or may not bounce back like it did before with my next pregnancy(ies). Who knows? And frankly, who cares? Embrace your curves.

I remember the day I was leaving the hospital to go home with my baby for the very first time and I was in the bathroom changing out of my hospital gown and into my lovely little dress. I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror, especially my saggy bulging midsection where my baby used to reside, and felt sheer horror for a split second.

"Is this what my body is going to look like forever and ever??"

 I wondered to myself. But then I could hear the excited chatter outside of my close friends, family and husband, oohing and aahing over the little miracle I pushed out of my body just 2 days earlier, and I smiled to myself, thinking, 

"I don't care. It was all worth it"

And you know what? Looking back almost 3 years later, with my beautiful Gemini Grrl by my side, with her radiant smile, cheeky antics, funny observations, effervescent personality, I feel that it definitely is all worth it. 

Every single kilogram.