Q - Quotes
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| Image from Imagine |
Pinterest is not just for finding delicious recipes for your next potluck party, or making yourself feel inadequate about your lack of party planning skills, you can also find a lot of inspirational quotes there to lift you up and remind you to soldier on (or funny sarcastic ones to give you a good laugh!). Go online to read about other people's TTC struggles with happy endings, which will give you hope as well. Connect with other people who have been in your shoes, so that you won't feel like you're all alone. You won't believe how touched I was when some of my friends shared their personal TTC stories with me and offered words of advice and encouragement. Some of whom I didn't even realise had problems conceiving as well, but were able to recognise the pain I was going through and reached out to me to offer a shoulder to cry on. This is also partly why I now want to be someone's listening ear as well and share the struggles of my past experience, so that hopefully it will benefit somebody else.
R - Relax
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| Image from Imagine |
I know, I know, if you had a penny for every time someone told you to
"just relax and it will happen", you will have enough to fill a sock to smack them over the head with. When my Fertility Doctor told me that I was too stressed and just needed to relax as well, I actually asked if there was a pill he could prescribe for that (turns out there is, actually). But not wanting do go down the pharmaceutical route just yet, I opted to cut down the stress-factors in my life and pretty much try to chill the f*ck out. As I work on a freelance basis, fortunately I had the liberty to start turning down a few projects that were offered to me, when before I would readily accept every single job that came my way. My schedule was a nightmare and as a theatre practitioner, the rehearsals would usually run late into the night. Chasing deadlines as a scriptwriter and typing furiously away while my husband was already snoring away in bed was also not very beneficial to my health. So we made it a point to have more "date nights", and to go on relaxing holidays or even staycations. I also signed up for a spa package which included massages and facial treatments, just to pamper myself and make me at least look good on the outside even though I was completely broken on the inside. 'Til this very day, I actually still have 2 more sessions to go to but have yet to do so because I got the good news before the whole package was even completed :)
S - Sperm
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| Image from Imagine |
When you are trying for a baby, sperm is an obvious factor in the equation, so it's not all on us women to get pregnant, remember that! You have to make sure that your significant other's swimmers are in tip top shape as well. Ask him to go for a fertility check-up, get him on a better diet and lifestyle, ask him to cut down on all his unhealthy habits, make sure he also takes his supplements & vitamins. He is as much a part of this as you are. Sure, he may not be going through the emotional turmoil you experience every month and he may never begin to understand what it's like as a woman to long for something so precious to you that seems so out of reach - but he should show his support by not only being there for you to cry on, but also to do his part to make this happen. Remember, you're both in this together.
T - Traditional Massage
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| Image from Imagine |
Massages are awesome whether or not you are TTC, but some of the ones offered at spas and such are usually just to help relax you - which is good too because, well, refer to "R" above. But Traditional Massages are good for targeting specific health issues or concerns. Massages are really good for your blood flow as well. I was lucky that my husband's old neighbour he had while growing up happens to be a Traditional Indonesian Masseuse who actually specialises in Fertility Massages as well as Post-Natal Massages (which I also had shortly after I gave birth). So she was pretty much an old family friend and watched my husband grow up since we was a teenage boy. Ok, I'm not sure if that made the whole experience nicer for me or more awkward though, haha! The massage was fairly painless, but she did focus on my womb area and at one point pressed down so hard I thought I would have a really embarrassing accident right in her face. LOL!!!! Depending on where you live in the world, there should be Traditional Massage services offered somewhere - umm, with happy endings of the baby kind ;)
U - Understand Your Body
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| Image from Imagine |
It's unfair when you see someone popping out babies practically every year and they lament about it not even being planned. It's unfair that they didn't even take supplements; Only ate bags of potato chips and drank soda by the litres; Smoked like a chimney; Drank like a fish; Know jacksh*t about TTC; Are considered medically obese; Did not even read this whole entire damn list. Yes, it sucks big time. How come they conceived so easily but you didn't? What did you do wrong? The answer is
nothing - you did absolutely nothing wrong. We are all designed very differently and what works for others may not necessarily work for you. You are the only one who knows your own body. Some people can eat a whole tub of ice cream for dinner every single day and not gain a pound (B*TCHES!!). Whereas some merely inhale the sweet aroma of freshly baked doughnuts and our waistline increases by one size (story of my life). So the same goes for being able to conceive on the first try or after several years. You just have to understand what works for your body and what you feel would increase your chances of a positive outcome.
V - Vitamins
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| Image from Imagine |
Before you even get pregnant, your body should be prepped and ready for the baby. So taking supplements and vitamins will not only be beneficial to your health, but it will also boost your fertility (this goes for both you and your significant other). Besides taking a fertility blend supplement, my husband and I were both advised to take Folic Acid. Apparently this improves the quality of sperm, and also helps cut down on any problems with producing eggs. Here is a list of other fertility supplements & vitamins you can find out more about and try (
but please consult your Doctor before taking any of them):
Chaste Tree Berry
Red Clover
Omega-3 Fatty Acids
Maca Root
Folic Acid
Iron
Magnesium
Vitamin E
Vitamin B
Siberian Ginseng
Lady's Mantle
Black Cohosh
W - Weight
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| Image from Imagine |
I know it sucks to hear this, because a lot women have some sort of issue with their weight or body image in general. But yes, your weight can actually affect your chances of conceiving. If you are overweight or even underweight, then that needs to be corrected. Same goes for your significant other as well. This was quite annoying for me because I found that the fertility supplements I was taking were actually causing me to gain weight and plump up because my body was getting primed for a possible baby. But I guess if my weight wasn't on the higher end of the normal BMI range to begin with, a few extra pounds wouldn't have been enough to tip the scale. You can go
here to calculate your BMI (Body Mass Index) to determine whether or not you are in the Normal (Healthy) range.
X - XXX
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| Image from Imagine |
Umm, yes, I think you all know how to do the deed. But when TTC, there are a few more things you have to make note of. WHEN you do it, HOW you do it, and HOW OFTEN. I used to think that it you get busy every single day, that would increase our chances, right? Wrong! It's actually better to do it
every other day, so it doesn't decrease the sperm count. The boys need time to recuperate too :P Now I'm not going to go into details about positions and stuff, but apparently if you prop a pillow under your hips afterwards, it might help to keep the sperm in. I totally did this as well. Some people don't believe this works and some doctors say it's all hogwash, but seriously, at this point in time, you're open to all ideas, right? Also, remember that sperm can live inside you for about 24 - 48 hours (1 - 2 days), but your egg usually hangs around for only 24 hours (1 day). So it's better if you have sex at least 1 day before you ovulate, because it's better for the boys to be hanging around eagerly waiting for Her Royal Majesty to arrive, rather than have her show up to an empty stage, get impatient and then storm off. I know, such a Rockstar, right? Haha!!
Y - Youth
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| Image from Imagine |
Notice how the older you get, the louder your biological clock seems to tick? It's just nature's way of reminding you that if you want to have a baby, now's the time to do it! Women over the age of 35 might have a more difficult time getting pregnant because as we age, unfortunately our fertility also decreases. Now even though it may not be entirely impossible to conceive at that age and up, it is advisable to start trying before that, so as to avoid any difficulties. But I do speak from experience being a 20-something year at that time and still facing problems TTC, so sometimes you wonder whether this whole age thing is just bunch of bull. Doctors do advise though that the older you are, the more increased risks you have of developing pregnancy complications. That being said, I have some friends and relatives who have conceived and had healthy, normal pregnancies when they were pushing 40, and also know of other people who were still in their 20's and faced complications. So once again, maybe life is just being a d*ck. But if possible, yes, try to start TTC earlier than 35, just to be on the safe side and at least you will have more time to play with.
Z - Zzz's
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| Image from Imagine |
Apparently you can increase your chances of conceiving if you get at least 7 - 8 hours of sleep every night. It's also good to establish a stable sleep routine of going to bed and waking up around the same time every day. The amount of sleep we get alters certain hormones in a way, which in turn affects our fertility. But that doesn't give you an excuse to be Sleeping Beauty and lie in 'til after lunch. If you get
too much sleep, that could also do more than harm than good. So remember, get good quality sleep between 7 - 8 hours. No more, no less.
So there is my super long-winded (but hopefully helpful!) list of ABC's on how to get pregnant. I really hope it will benefit at least one person to read it. Please remember though that I am not a medically professional, and all the above-mentioned tips are from my own personal experience or research I gathered on my own TTC journey, so do consult your doctor before you follow any of the advice mentioned, or at least do your own thorough research.
If you have any more questions or just want to vent about how TTC can sometimes really suck ass, do leave a comment (or email me privately) and I'll be more than happy to reply. Good luck and babydust to all of you! :)
