The ABCs of TTC: How To Get Pregnant (When The Old Fashioned Way Doesn't Seem To Be Working)

I got the positive news on 9/10/11 :)

A few years ago, my husband and I decided that we finally wanted to have a baby. After about 6 years of marriage, we felt that it was about time for our family to grow. I married pretty young (22), so we had put it off for a while until I thought that I was ready to become a Mother. I had always longed to have children and it was something we had talked about before. But little did we know that our TTC (Trying To Conceive) journey would be a rocky one. It took us over 2 years before I got pregnant, and although it may not seem like a long time to others, to me it was pure hell on earth. Everywhere I looked, there were pregnant women all around me. Facebook announcements made me want to hurl my laptop out of the window. Friends lamenting about how terrible they were feeling during their pregnancy, while they sat there rubbing their baby bump, as I smiled as widely as I could and blinked back my tears. Complete strangers on the subway train, heavily pregnant, made me want to stand up and scream.

My husband and I both went for fertility check ups and were deemed healthy. Although the Doctor was a little concerned whether I was ovulating properly - as in, was an egg actually being released each time I was supposed to ovulate? So I went through a series of tests, was poked, prodded, inside and out, and would cry on the bus by myself as I made myself home from my weekly hospital appointments. It was torturous and I felt so alone because no one really seemed to know what I was going through and I had no one to talk to.

So when my prayers were answered and I finally saw the positive signs on the test kit for the first time in my life, I vowed to share my journey with others so that hopefully someone out there may find some comfort in hearing about the various trials and tribulations I endured, and most importantly, perhaps even benefit from the various methods I have gone through myself.

Below is an A - Z list of different conception tips you can try. Some may be pretty unconventional, but hey, whatever it takes, right? So do read through my compiled list of TTC advice and here's sending some baby dust your way!

A - Acupuncture

Image from Imagine

Ok, I must admit that I only knew about this while watching a random show on TV one evening about Mariah Carey and how she claimed that acupuncture treatments helped to boost her fertility and get pregnant with her twins. I have heard about acupuncture before and living in a South East Asian country gives me the luxury of having a wide range of places that offer such services. I had actually planned to go for one such treatment with one of my friends, but about month or two before that, found out the good news. However, it doesn't just magically happen after 1 session and you have to go quite a number of times before it can have any affect.

B - Baby Dust

Image from Imagine

There is something absolutely magical about carrying a baby or a tiny toddler in your arms. You hold them close to you and can smell their fragrant baby-powder, sweet caramel, natural baby-scented goodness. Some people believe that if you carry or play with a lot of kids, for some reason it will help to increase your chances of getting pregnant. Also, it is considered good luck to be around a pregnant Mom to soak in all her "baby dust". Sounds a little cuckoo? Oh who cares, it makes your ovaries sigh with happiness to cuddle those adorable babies anyway. Just enjoy it.

C - Cervical Mucus

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No, this is not gross, it is perfectly natural and you should be aware of your cervical mucus (or vaginal discharge) because it is a good indicator of ovulation. The various states or consistency will change throughout.

EGG-WHITE = Most Fertile
WATERY = Fertile
CREAMY = Least Fertile
STICKY = Least Fertile (Post-Ovulation)
DRY = Non-Fertile (Pre-Ovulation)


D - Diet

Image from Imagine

This does not mean you have to starve yourself and just chew on lettuce leaves like a rabbit all day long. On the contrary - you have to be on a well-balanced diet and eat nutritious foods. You are allowed to have the occasional cheeseburger or slice of pizza or a can of soda, but all these should be consumed in moderation. Get more fruits and especially vegetables into your diet and try to include these fertility boosting foods as well:
Brown Rice
Eggs
Salmon
Whole Milk
Broccoli
Olives & Olive Oil
Black Beans
Oysters
Avocado
Almonds
Watercress
Collared Beans
Kale
Spinach
Grapefruit
Arugula
Figs
Green Tea
Coconut Cream
Tofu
(Damn, that list is making me hungry!).

E - Exercise

Image from Imagine

For those of us who are no way in hell going to strike a warrior pose on the beach by ourselves like a loony toon, fret not, you can get a bit of exercise into your daily routine without too much hassle. Take the stairs instead of the elevator/ escalator. Get off one bus stop early and walk the rest of the way. Do a few yoga stretches in the comfort of your own home (away from distracting bikini-clad babes who make you want to bury your head in the sand) - there are even some yoga poses which are specifically for boosting fertility. Whatever you choose to do, just get your blood pumping and your muscles working. I was told by my Fertility Doctor that I had to lose 10kg, and as much as I wanted to claw her eyes out, I did my best to shed the excess baggage by doing Taebo as often as I could. Although, do note that being underweight is also not very good for fertility. The trick is to find just the right balance.

F - Fertility Type

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Once again I caught wind of this while watching some entertainment channel because I was following Giuliana Rancic's TTC journey. She mentioned Dr Sami David and his Making Babies programme, so I checked it out online and came across a questionnaire you could fill out which would then tell you the results of your "Fertility Type". It would also recommend what sort of diet and exercise regime would be the most suitable for you, which I felt was quite cool because not all of us are built the same.

G - General Health

Image from Imagine

Our bodies are funny but smart things, because sometimes when it can detect that you are not really in the pink of health, then chances of becoming pregnant are pretty slim. Perhaps it's just nature's way of ensuring that the Mother will be healthy enough to carry a baby to full-term and deliver without any complications. There are exceptions of course and this is most definitely not 100% accurate, but it does make sense that before you want to embark on a delicate 9 month journey, you should make sure that you are fully prepared for it mentally and physically. So take care of yourself first and also get a full health check-up before you start trying. For your sake, as well as your future baby's.

H - Hope

Image from Imagine

On most of my dark days, all I had left was hope. When I felt like giving up, like just breaking down and letting go of my dreams of ever becoming a Mother, I clutched on to the tiny shreds of hope I had left that someday my wish would come true. So cast thought negative thoughts aside and never ever give up hope. In fact, my favourite poem of all time by Emily Dickinson helped me through these tough times:

HOPE IS THE THING WITH FEATHERS

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm

That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chilliest land

And on the strangest sea;

Yet, never in extremity,

It asked a crumb of me".

I - IUI & IVF

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These were the next few steps that my husband and I were willing to explore. You can get these treatments done at  fertility clinic or some hospitals. Just talk to your doctor about it and how to take the next step.

IUI is when they place the sperm directly into your uterus. You usually take fertility drugs prior to this treatment to increase your chances of getting pregnant, thus possible resulting in multiples. I was actually about to take my first round of Clomid, but then got pregnant naturally before I could :)
IVF is when they combine the sperm with the egg in a laboratory dish and then transfer the embryo back into the uterus. This may also result in multiples.

This may not be the ideal way of getting pregnant like you thought of, but not all of us are blessed with perfect fertility, so it's good to know that these options are available to us, should we choose it.


J - Junk Detox

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Be it smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, binging on fast food, taking drugs or gulping down gallons of coffee, try your best to eliminate all junk from your system. This goes for your partner as well. For us women, it is also better to cut this out of our habits because we shouldn't really be indulging in those things when we are pregnant anyway. I know it's hard, and it sucks and you're grumpy as hell - but the pay off is well worth it, I promise!

K - Keep Track

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Of your period (when did it start? How long did it last? When did it end?) and of when you did the deed. It helps you to figure out your fertile window, as well as hopefully get clued in about your conception date ;) You can track it down manually on a calendar/ daily planner, but there are also convenient and easy to use Apps you can also download. This information is also helpful when you go for any fertility check-ups, because it's obviously a little tough to try to recall the exact dates from memory. Some women also have irregular periods, so it's good to make note of when you do menstruate as this will allow you to calculate your next possible ovulation dates.

L - Lubricants

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Some may not realise this, but a lot of lubricants actually hinder sperm from reaching the egg, because of their consistency. So it is better to your sperm-friendly lube, or you could even try natural alternatives such as:

Olive Oil
Vegetable Oil
Baby Oil
Egg Whites

M - Menstrual Cups

Image from Wikipedia

I came across this by chance while I was browsing through an online shop selling various TTC aid items, one of which was the Menstrual Cup. I had never heard about this in my entire life and thought it was pretty interesting. Not only do some women use it for their monthly visits from Aunt Flo, but it has also been said to be effective in holding in the sperm after intercourse to increase chances of conceiving. It makes sense, doesn't it?

N - Nesting

Image from Imagine

When you have that urge to start a family, they call that being "broody". Then when you start preparing your home for that special little addition, they call that "nesting". I'm not sure why they like to use bird analogies, but it does tie in rather nicely with the poem about Hope, doesn't it? :) Nesting isn't just reserved for those who already have babies on the way, I personally think that it's fine to start preparing for the little one when you're still TTC. Think about the sleeping arrangements - will bubs have his or her own nursery? If so, what colour do you want to paint it? Or will they share the same room as you? You can buying bits and bobs of baby stuff if that makes you feel happy - I certainly did, and yes, it made me feel very happy because I was preparing for my future baby, instead of sitting around just waiting and wondering. Make sure your house is baby-proof (this is easier to do anyway without a growing baby bump or those waves of nausea). Do your research about cribs, carseats, strollers, bibs, bottles, pumps, diaper creams, etc - just spend your days reading and preparing yourself for when the time comes. It's never too early for that, and it sure makes you feel positive about things.

O - Ovulation Predictor Kit

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Oh, I get the bird analogies now! Every month when we ovulate, an egg is released from our ovaries and if it gets fertilized by a sperm then that's when you become pregnant :D It is important to know when exactly you ovulate, as you are most fertile around two to three days before that. Also remember that it is better to actually have sex before you start ovulating, so as to increase your chances of getting pregnant. If you're not sure about how to chart your fertile window, then you can also use an Ovulation Predictor Kit. They pretty much work like Pregnancy Test Kits and can be found at the same place in the shops. 

P - Pray

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Whether or not you are religious, or what your religion is, just pray. Take the time out of the hustle and bustle of your daily life to say a heartfelt prayer for yourself and your desire to become a Mother. Ask for prayers to be made for you as well, regardless of everyone else's faith or beliefs. A prayer can be made in a place of worship, in private, in a roomful of other people, in your mind as you are on a long bus ride by yourself, before you go to sleep - just pray for the best. A prayer can also just be positive thoughts and good vibes sent your way. During this TTC journey, it's nice to just receive any form of support and good juju from those around you.

Q - Quotes

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Pinterest is not just for finding delicious recipes for your next potluck party, or making yourself feel inadequate about your lack of party planning skills, you can also find a lot of inspirational quotes there to lift you up and remind you to soldier on (or funny sarcastic ones to give you a good laugh!). Go online to read about other people's TTC struggles with happy endings, which will give you hope as well. Connect with other people who have been in your shoes, so that you won't feel like you're all alone. You won't believe how touched I was when some of my friends shared their personal TTC stories with me and offered words of advice and encouragement. Some of whom I didn't even realise had problems conceiving as well, but were able to recognise the pain I was going through and reached out to me to offer a shoulder to cry on. This is also partly why I now want to be someone's listening ear as well and share the struggles of my past experience, so that hopefully it will benefit somebody else.

R - Relax

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I know, I know, if you had a penny for every time someone told you to "just relax and it will happen", you will have enough to fill a sock to smack them over the head with. When my Fertility Doctor told me that I was too stressed and just needed to relax as well, I actually asked if there was a pill he could prescribe for that (turns out there is, actually). But not wanting do go down the pharmaceutical route just yet, I opted to cut down the stress-factors in my life and pretty much try to chill the f*ck out. As I work on a freelance basis, fortunately I had the liberty to start turning down a few projects that were offered to me, when before I would readily accept every single job that came my way. My schedule was a nightmare and as a theatre practitioner, the rehearsals would usually run late into the night. Chasing deadlines as a scriptwriter and typing furiously away while my husband was already snoring away in bed was also not very beneficial to my health. So we made it a point to have more "date nights", and to go on relaxing holidays or even staycations. I also signed up for a spa package which included massages and facial treatments, just to pamper myself and make me at least look good on the outside even though I was completely broken on the inside. 'Til this very day, I actually still have 2 more sessions to go to but have yet to do so because I got the good news before the whole package was even completed :)

S - Sperm

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When you are trying for a baby, sperm is an obvious factor in the equation, so it's not all on us women to get pregnant, remember that! You have to make sure that your significant other's swimmers are in tip top shape as well. Ask him to go for a fertility check-up, get him on a better diet and lifestyle, ask him to cut down on all his unhealthy habits, make sure he also takes his supplements & vitamins. He is as much a part of this as you are. Sure, he may not be going through the emotional turmoil you experience every month and he may never begin to understand what it's like as a woman to long for something so precious to you that seems so out of reach - but he should show his support by not only being there for you to cry on, but also to do his part to make this happen. Remember, you're both in this together.

T - Traditional Massage

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Massages are awesome whether or not you are TTC, but some of the ones offered at spas and such are usually just to help relax you - which is good too because, well, refer to "R" above. But Traditional Massages are good for targeting specific health issues or concerns. Massages are really good for your blood flow as well. I was lucky that my husband's old neighbour he had while growing up happens to be a Traditional Indonesian Masseuse who actually specialises in Fertility Massages as well as Post-Natal Massages (which I also had shortly after I gave birth). So she was pretty much an old family friend and watched my husband grow up since we was a teenage boy. Ok, I'm not sure if that made the whole experience nicer for me or more awkward though, haha! The massage was fairly painless, but she did focus on my womb area and at one point pressed down so hard I thought I would have a really embarrassing accident right in her face. LOL!!!! Depending on where you live in the world, there should be Traditional Massage services offered somewhere - umm, with happy endings of the baby kind ;)

U - Understand Your Body

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It's unfair when you see someone popping out babies practically every year and they lament about it not even being planned. It's unfair that they didn't even take supplements; Only ate bags of potato chips and drank soda by the litres; Smoked like a chimney; Drank like a fish; Know jacksh*t about TTC; Are considered medically obese; Did not even read this whole entire damn list. Yes, it sucks big time. How come they conceived so easily but you didn't? What did you do wrong? The answer is nothing - you did absolutely nothing wrong. We are all designed very differently and what works for others may not necessarily work for you. You are the only one who knows your own body. Some people can eat a whole tub of ice cream for dinner every single day and not gain a pound (B*TCHES!!). Whereas some merely inhale the sweet aroma of freshly baked doughnuts and our waistline increases by one size (story of my life). So the same goes for being able to conceive on the first try or after several years. You just have to understand what works for your body and what you feel would increase your chances of a positive outcome.

V - Vitamins

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Before you even get pregnant, your body should be prepped and ready for the baby. So taking supplements and vitamins will not only be beneficial to your health, but it will also boost your fertility (this goes for both you and your significant other). Besides taking a fertility blend supplement, my husband and I were both advised to take Folic Acid. Apparently this improves the quality of sperm, and also helps cut down on any problems with producing eggs. Here is a list of other fertility supplements & vitamins you can find out more about and try (but please consult your Doctor before taking any of them):

Chaste Tree Berry
Red Clover
Omega-3 Fatty Acids
Maca Root
Folic Acid
Iron
Magnesium
Vitamin E
Vitamin B
Siberian Ginseng
Lady's Mantle
Black Cohosh

W - Weight

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I know it sucks to hear this, because a lot women have some sort of issue with their weight or body image in general. But yes, your weight can actually affect your chances of conceiving. If you are overweight or even underweight, then that needs to be corrected. Same goes for your significant other as well. This was quite annoying for me because I found that the fertility supplements I was taking were actually causing me to gain weight and plump up because my body was getting primed for a possible baby. But I guess if my weight wasn't on the higher end of the normal BMI range to begin with, a few extra pounds wouldn't have been enough to tip the scale. You can go here to calculate your BMI (Body Mass Index) to determine whether or not you are in the Normal (Healthy) range.

X - XXX

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Umm, yes, I think you all know how to do the deed. But when TTC, there are a few more things you have to make note of. WHEN you do it, HOW you do it, and HOW OFTEN. I used to think that it you get busy every single day, that would increase our chances, right? Wrong! It's actually better to do it every other day, so it doesn't decrease the sperm count. The boys need time to recuperate too :P Now I'm not going to go into details about positions and stuff, but apparently if you prop a pillow under your hips afterwards, it might help to keep the sperm in. I totally did this as well. Some people don't believe this works and some doctors say it's all hogwash, but seriously, at this point in time, you're open to all ideas, right? Also, remember that sperm can live inside you for about 24 - 48 hours (1 - 2 days), but your egg usually hangs around for only 24 hours (1 day). So it's better if you have sex at least 1 day before you ovulate, because it's better for the boys to be hanging around eagerly waiting for Her Royal Majesty to arrive, rather than have her show up to an empty stage, get impatient and then storm off. I know, such a Rockstar, right? Haha!!

Y - Youth

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Notice how the older you get, the louder your biological clock seems to tick? It's just nature's way of reminding you that if you want to have a baby, now's the time to do it! Women over the age of 35 might have a more difficult time getting pregnant because as we age, unfortunately our fertility also decreases. Now even though it may not be entirely impossible to conceive at that age and up, it is advisable to start trying before that, so as to avoid any difficulties. But I do speak from experience being a 20-something year at that time and still facing problems TTC, so sometimes you wonder whether this whole age thing is just bunch of bull. Doctors do advise though that the older you are, the more increased risks you have of developing pregnancy complications. That being said, I have some friends and relatives who have conceived and had healthy, normal pregnancies when they were pushing 40, and also know of other people who were still in their 20's and faced complications. So once again, maybe life is just being a d*ck. But if possible, yes, try to start TTC earlier than 35, just to be on the safe side and at least you will have more time to play with.

Z - Zzz's

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Apparently you can increase your chances of conceiving if you get at least 7 - 8 hours of sleep every night. It's also good to establish a stable sleep routine of going to bed and waking up around the same time every day. The amount of sleep we get alters certain hormones in a way, which in turn affects our fertility. But that doesn't give you an excuse to be Sleeping Beauty and lie in 'til after lunch. If you get too much sleep, that could also do more than harm than good. So remember, get good quality sleep between 7 - 8 hours. No more, no less.


So there is my super long-winded (but hopefully helpful!) list of ABC's on how to get pregnant. I really hope it will benefit at least one person to read it. Please remember though that I am not a medically professional, and all the above-mentioned tips are from my own personal experience or research I gathered on my own TTC journey, so do consult your doctor before you follow any of the advice mentioned, or at least do your own thorough research.

If you have any more questions or just want to vent about how TTC can sometimes really suck ass, do leave a comment (or email me privately) and I'll be more than happy to reply. Good luck and babydust to all of you! :)