Please Teach Your Children To Be Kind To Animals

Gemini Grrl (1yr old) with the neighbourhood kitty, Polly.

One of the moral values that definitely makes the list in our house is: 

Be Kind To Animals.

I have always loved animals ever since I was a little girl and we had a lot of pets growing up as well. Cats, rabbits, chickens, more cats, fish, turkeys, doves, turtles, hamsters, and even more cats. Living in a large 2-storey house in Brunei with a backyard, front lawn, artificial pond and fake waterfall, we had a lot of space for our small community of animals. We must have had about 20 cats at one point! My sister and I loved each and every one of them and every day was an opportunity for us to play with our furry/ feathered friends.

Our parents didn't particularly sit us down and specifically tell us to actually be kind to animals - they just were. So as children, we naturally would take our cues from the adults around us. My Mother bought a small rice cooker especially for our pet cats, and when she went to the wet market with my aunts, they would buy back some small fish (like the kind you put in Nasi Lemak), steam it until the bones are soft and then mash it altogether with the rice for all the cats to eat in the backyard. Sometimes, as a treat (or especially for the pregnant cats), they would stir in some egg into the rice as well.

Image credit: One Green Planet

I remember however that my Mother was completely petrified of snakes (and still is actually), so much so that she cannot even see an image of it on TV or even in a magazine. I on the other hand, for some reason have a complete phobia of lizards, especially house lizards. Just typing or saying the word "lizard" is already enough to make my skin crawl and I am actually grimacing right this very minute. I'm not sure what exactly caused this fear to begin with, since no one else in my family is scared of lizards. My sister isn't as scared of them as I am (she despises cockroaches though!), but I hate that I have this unreasonable fear. I know that they are harmless and so much smaller than I am. At least my Mother's dislike for snakes makes a bit of sense because some species are known to bite and can be very dangerous - so it's just a natural human reaction. But tiny little lizards on the other hand are probably more scared of me than I am of them.

However, I do not want my daughter to be scared of lizards, or snakes, or any other animal for that matter. I want her to love all animals and be kind to them. Lizards may gross me out, but I wouldn't want to bash one over the head with a broom (I just want it go far, far away from me! Haha). So when I see one lurking at my front door while I am clumsily fumbling for my keys, trying my hardest to scream in sheer terror, I put on a brave front and acknowledge my daughter's excited remarks of, "Look, Mommy! Up there! A baby lizard! So cute".

Me trying not to get too freaked out by the fake "tukae" (gecko). AARGH!!!!

Every now and then, I let her play with some educational games on the Tab, so would sometimes go through the Apps list to download new games. Once I came across a particular game marketed for little kids and the whole point of the game was to see how many ants you can smash with your fingers before they could eat all the candy! Sure, I am no saint and I do admit I have killed millions and billions of ants, mosquitoes and flies before - but I don't want to teach my daughter to sit there and aim to kill off little ants, be it animated or real, all in the name of "fun". There was also a children's song in one of my daughter's playlist that I have promptly deleted and banned, called "Baby Bumble Bee". Here are part of the sickening lyrics:

"I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee
Won't my Mommy be so proud of me
I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee -
Ouch! It just stung me!

I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee
Won't my Mother be so proud of me?
I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee -
Ew! It's so yucky!".

Why would anyone write such lyrics for a children's song?? And who's Mother would actually be proud of them for killing a baby bumble bee?? Some of you might think I'm overreacting and it's "just a song", but no, I don't like the message it's sending across to my child, so I have the right to keep such horrid stuff away from her.

Being kind to animals is something I feel all parents and teachers should teach to children, because it in turn makes them kind, compassionate and have empathy for other human beings as well. You've probably read countless reports of how some murderers would abuse or kill animals when they were children - most likely because animals are usually more helpless and are easy targets. Cruelty to animals is also one of the symptoms displayed by a future psychopath. If children are taught to be kind and caring towards animals, it will help them to value all lives and also prevent violent behaviour.

As parents, we should set good examples to our children as well and remember that their little eyes are always observing us and their ever attentive ears catch more than we think they do. So try your best not to smash a cockroach to death with such relish; Don't run through a flock of pigeons for no apparent reason except to just chase them off and laugh about it, Refrain from making any negative remarks about any animals, even if you have an unreasonable fear of them. As a Muslim, we are not allowed to eat pork, but that does not mean I will kick a pig if I saw one. We are also advised not to touch dogs (we can actually, and are also allowed to have them as pets, but there are several criterias we need to fulfill - another blog post for another time!), but that does not stop me and my husband from petting them or treating them with kindness as well.

Gemini Grrl's very first word was, "Cat", and she has a love for all animals (although she sometimes has this random fear of ants one day, but then is talking to them and feeding them her cookie crumbs the next day!). She squeals with delight every time she sees any animals on TV or in real life, and is already starting to ask for a pet cat. She enjoys it when I read her storybooks with animal characters. She cuddles all her animal plush toys, lovingly tucks them into bed and patiently nurses them when they apparently have boo-boos.

Someday, when she's a little older, I will let her adopt a pet of her choice, which will also teach her how to be responsible and caring for another life. But for now, we will stick to tea parties with her Panda, feeding stray cats around our neighbourhood, and singing nicer songs about being kind to all animals big and small.

Polly and my Gemini Grrl (1 yr old at the time) strolling side by side ^_^

Miniature Baking Trays for Dollhouse: Upcycled Project

Itty Bitty baking trays with donuts and cakes (which are actually erasers) for a dollhouse.

I saw this GREAT post on Pinterest recently and thought it was such an easy but clever idea! They are tiny baking trays for a dollhouse, and you want to know what they were originally? Compact powder trays! You know when your makeup is all used up and you (generally) throw it away? Next time, hold on to the casing because not only are they refillable (and therefore minimise waste, plus save you a few dollars), you can pry out the tiny metal trays which have been emptied out an reuse them for this uber cute DIY project :D

Yes, I am aware that I am somewhat of a hoarder!

I personally have A LOT of empty compact powder cases which I squirrel away in my vanity cupboard because I do buy the refills and I just hate throwing things away. Boy am I glad I did that because I have LOTS to choose from now.

My favourite case is the one in the front with the silver roses, which is from Anna Sui. SO pretty!!!!

So you see the little metal trays inside which once contained the compact powder? You can carefully pry them out with a pair of tweezers, because they are usually glued on. Or some of them which are not glued can just easily be lifted out.

The washed and cleaned metal trays

Wash out any remaining makeup with water and soap. The glue can easily be rubbed off with a little baby oil or cooking oil and then rinsed thoroughly.

And you're done! You have adorable miniature baking trays for your dollhouse, which didn't even cost me a thing. There are different shapes of trays depending on which brand you use. Some are circular as well. You can also use eye shadow trays. Next time I might try to paint them and add other decorations, or use them as something else. Leave your comments to tell me what other ways you can use them! :)

FAQs About Gemini Grrl: 10 Questions Answered

My Rockin' Gemini Grrl

Q1: Who is Gemini Grrl?
ANS: She is my daughter, my first-born, my one and only child (for now!), the apple of my eye, my world, my life, my everything.

Q2: How old is Gemini Grrl?
ANS: She turns 3 years old this year (2015) - officially becoming a Preschooler and a Threenager! Hahaha.

Q3: Why the name "Gemini Grrl?" Is it a typo?
ANS: For privacy reasons, I have chosen not to disclose her name on my blog, so have created a pseudonym for her. Since I am am Taurus Mommy, I thought it would be fitting that she had Gemini incorporated into the new nick name, as that is her zodiac sign. The second half of the name is not a typo, it is an alternative way of writing "Girl", just with a little more attitude, because that is exactly how my daughter is ;)

Q4: Are you raising her to become a Feminist?
ANS: I am raising her to hopefully become a strong, confident, kind, caring, generous, independent, intelligent, worldly, open-minded young lady who will help to be the change in this world. I am not into the whole "princess" thing and will not encourage it in my household, nor am I particularly a fan of the colour pink. But I do not want to strictly dictate my daughter's choices or preferences in life so will grit my teeth if she steers in that direction.

Q5: So what is her favourite colour?
Definitely NOT pink! Phew. Haha! Her favourite colour so far is purple (like mine! But I promise that I did not force it upon her. Maybe she's just constantly surrounded by a lot of my purple stuff so associates that colour with me, so therefore prefers it?). But I do have some pink stuff here and there for her because I don't want to make it a "forbidden" colour of sorts as it may later on become an obsession (!!).

Q6: Does she have a lovey/ cuddly/ security blanket?
ANS: Yup! It is a "Perfect Panda" Care Bear (cousin) plush doll from my personal vintage toys collection. Well, so maybe he is not exactly vintage (because this exact doll was made around the year 2000), but he had been sitting in my cupboard with all my other plush dolls for quite some time before she was even born. It was originally a birthday gift from my sister (because she knows how much I love Care Bears and My Little Ponies), but when Gemini Grrl finally came along in 2012, she picked him out by herself out of all the other dolls presented to her and he just became her favourite ever since then and thus earning the honourable status of being her lovey/ cuddly. In fact, you can actually see him in the background on the left of the picture above :)

Q7: What is Gemini Grrl's personality like?
ANS: She is friendly, cheerful, cheeky, active, inquisitive, generous, vocal, fun, out-going, articulate and talkative. True to her Gemini nature, she is also sociable, but has her quiet moments, and sometimes even appears to have a dual personality! Always a joy to be around, but can get bored rather easily so constantly needs to be doing something. She's pretty easy-going though and warms up to people rather quickly.

Q8: What are her favourite activities?

ANS: Swimming or any kind of water play; Painting; Drawing; Singing; Dancing; Playing with her dollhouses; Doing puzzles; Having playdates with her friends.

Q9: What is her favourite food?

ANS: Ice cream! Just like Mommy. Hehehe.

Q10: Is she more like Mommy or Daddy?
ANS: When she was just born, she looked EXACTLY liked her Daddy! But as the months went by, she started to resemble me at that very same age. I would even make photo comparisons and my own Father couldn't tell us apart! She definitely has her Daddy's nose though, but most people says she looks more like me now. She walks like her Daddy, but is dramatic like Mommy. Her food preferences are more like Daddy, but she gets her sweet tooth from me (oops!). She has curly hair like Daddy, but large eyes and long lashes like Mommy. Her skintone is just the right mix of the both of us, and she lands right in the middle shade. She is a Gemini just like Daddy, and they also share the same blood type. Hmm, so maybe she is a little bit more like Daddy, but she gets all the best bits from Mommy! Hmph! Lol :P

Handmade Dollhouse Sofa/ Daybed & Cushions: DIY Tutorial for Miniature Furniture (All Upcycled Materials!)

My DIY Doll Daybed/ Sofa made from upcycled materials.

While doing the laundry (my most dreaded chore of the week!!!!), one of the plastic clothes pegs I was using broke and just before I tossed it into the bin, I stopped to inspect it a little closer. The metal ring that kept the two plastic clippy parts together was brittle, so I removed it and realised that the two clippy parts (ok, so those are clearly not the technical terms, but you know what I mean!), sort of looked like super slim chairs if you sat them upright on a flat surface. I had them side by side on the kitchen counter top and then it hit me that I could turn it into a DIY project and create a miniature sofa or daybed for Gemini Grrl's dollhouse!


SOFA/ DAYBED

For the miniature daybed/ sofa, you will need:

1 plastic clothes peg
3 popsicle sticks
Superglue
Felt/ Piece of fabric

Ribbon/ Lace

Step 1: Building the frame

STEP 1: Take apart your plastic clothes peg and place them side by side on a flat surface.

Step 2: Glue on popsicle sticks

STEP 2: Glue a popsicle stick across the "seating" part at the bottom, front and top.

Step 3: Add felt and ribbon

STEP 3: Glue on a piece of felt or fabric, as well as bits of ribbon or lace for decorative purposes and to hide any parts of the popsicle sticks or clothes pegs showing underneath.

CUSHIONS

Adding the stuffing to the cushion.

For the teeny weeny cushions, I used some leftover scrap material from another dollhouse project I did previously, as well as an old baby washcloth with a cute little bird embroided on it.

For the cutesy cushions, you will need:

Cotton
Pieces of fabric
Superglue

Itsy bitsy teeny weeny cushions :)

STEP 1: Cut out the piece of fabric to the shape and size you desire.

STEP 2: Fold up a piece of facial cotton or use a round cotton ball for the stuffing.

STEP 3: Glue the sides together.

Baby School Bag (Vintage My Little Pony - 1984 ) & her new handmade Daybed ^_^

And there you go! It was so easy to make and is an adorable addition to my daughter's new wooden dollhouse I am currently working on. I will keep you updated about that project in a new post once it's completed! Do leave your comments and tell me what you think about this little DIY project of mine, I'd love to hear your feedback :)

Free Diapers & Milk for Tots & Bubs!

Image from: Inmagine

Although us Taurus personalities tend to naturally be frugal, we also love to share with others. In this case, I'd like to share these wonderful freebies with all my readers to grab for your little one :D

*Please note that this is only open to Citizens & PRs of Singapura.

DIAPERS

Image from: Imagine

As much as I wanted to save the planet and also save my baby's bottom, I personally don't think I can cope with washing poopy diapers amongst the other long list of household chores, various job assignments I have to complete as a WAHM, as well as just being a Mom to my very active daughter! So disposable diapers are the way to go. Sorry Mother Earth! 

:: DRYPERS ::

:: GOON ::

:: HUGGIES ::

:: MAMY POKO ::

:: MERRIES (TAPE) ::

:: MERRIES (WALKER PANTS) ::

:: NEPIA BABY ::

FORMULA MILK

Image from: Imagine

Although I am pro-breastfeeding and strongly believe in extended breastfeeding, I also understand that we all have different bodies and circumstances. So for those who do use formula milk, here are some free samples :)

:: DUMEX (MAMIL)::

:: ENFAGROW ::

:: FRISO ::

:: KARIHOME ::

:: NESTLE ::

:: S-26 ::

:: SIMILAC ::


I will be posting another list soon of freebies for us Moms to enjoy, so do check my blog for updates. Also, if you have any other links to free samples (Mommy, Baby, Kiddy or Family related only please!), do share them with us either by leaving a comment or emailing me. Thanks!

My Perfect Plan Preparing for Preschool & Primary School

Image source unknown

In 3 months' time, my little Gemini Grrl will no longer be a Toddler, but will technically become a Preschooler. It seemed like only yesterday that I saw the positive sign on my testkit; heard her precious little heartbeat; found out I was having a girl; held her in my arms for the very first time after feeling her grow inside me for 9 months. And pretty soon she's going to be starting "school"? When did that happen?? Ok, so I'm not completely shocked, because I have been planning it carefully ever since she was born (because I am a natural planner - some people might even say I may over plan things, but hey, this is how I am and it makes me happy, so please shut up).

To make the whole transition easier on her (and me!), I have this whole preparation process all planned out, and hopefully it will work out as well as I hope it would.

STEP 1: PLAYDATES

Gemini Grrl (left) with her good buddy (right) at the Jurong Birdpark for a playdate :)

Ever since my daughter was almost a year old, we started bringing her on playdates to introduce her to new friends and just socialise with other children her age. We would go to each other's houses, sometimes let the little ones roam around various kiddy indoor playgrounds together, visit various places of interests, have fun splashing about at pools and water-play areas, or just meet up for lunch and have the little ones sit side by side in their high-chairs to munch on their snacks together. It's lovely to see them gradually learning how to socialise and play with one another, and the older they get, the more the children enjoy each other's company and even start to request to meet up with their friends by name! :)

STEP 2: PARENT ACCOMPANIED PLAYGROUP

Gemini Grrl playing in the sandpit at her weekly playgroup

Shortly after turning 2 years old, I signed us up for a parent accompanied playgroup at an international school near our house, which we still attend once a week. It is open for toddlers aged 15 months - 3 years old, but once you're already in the programme, they are flexible enough to let your child continue for a few more months until they turn 3.5 years old (and then they are no longer eligible for the playgroup). It's a fun little class where there are lots of interesting activity stations set up in a classroom, and parents are encouraged to take part with their children as well. There is also outdoor play time for the kids to stretch their legs while getting some fresh air and sunshine. Then it's back up for snack time as a group, more free play and to end it off, circle time with some upbeat songs (dancing and singing), stories and bubble-blowing. It's great fun and the children are introduced to the concept of a classroom, a having a teacher, other classmates, as well as a class schedule to follow.


STEP 3: DROP-OFF ENRICHMENT CLASS

Gemini Grrl painting a colourful little masterpiece

I'm still trying to find a weekly drop-off class where she can attend for an hour or so to have a little fun while learning something (Dance, Drama, Singing, Gym, etc), and at the same time, get used to me not being around for a short while. However, a lot of such enrichment classes offered here are usually for 4 year olds and up, or the ones in her age range are quite far away from where we live and the commute gives me a headache just thinking about it. So the search continues.

STEP 4: DAILY DROP-OFF PLAYGROUP

Gemini Grrl (right) painting with water on a dry deck, alongside her playgroup classmate (left).

Luckily for me, a new learning centre has just opened up literally at my apartment complex. So I peeked in on their classes and noticed that they also offer an integrated daily drop-off playgroup for toddlers and preschoolers (18 months - 4 years old). Since we are pretty happy with our current weekly parent accompanied playgroup, she'll only be starting this daily drop-off programme next year at the start of their intake for the new term, once she turns 3.5 years old.


STEP 5: KINDERGARTEN

Gemini Grrl paiting with marbles

When she is 4 years old, she will attend Kindergarten at this wonderful little preschool I discovered, not too far away from where we live (it's a very short drive, but no direct buses unfortunately). They have a half-day programme and a full-day programme, but we most likely will sign her up for the full-day programme, as I will be going back to work again fulltime, but the hours are flexible and I can pick her up any time I'm done. I love the preschool I have chosen for her, because they have such wonderful facilities, including an Art Studio (for Arts & Craft activities), Dance Studio (for Dance, Movement and also Drama lessons), Multimedia Room (to play educational computer games), Library (for story time and quiet reading), Mini Kitchen (for cooking lessons), as well as swimming lessons.


STEP 6: PRIMARY SCHOOL (GRADE SCHOOL)

Gemini Grrl's scribble-art (1 yr old)

The year that my daughter turns 7 years old, by law we are required to send her to a Primary School (Grade School). Now, as she is a Citizen (because my husband is a Citizen), she is also required to only join a local school, but not an international school (which is a shame, because I went to international school since Preschool. But oh well, I have faith in the local school system as well). The great thing about our neighbourhood is that there is a Primary School right next door (I can sometimes hear the faint murmurs of their school assembly, right from my living room), so the location is super convenient, plus it is dirt cheap. Seriously, astoundingly cheap, as compared to an international school, which you probably would have to sell your kidneys for.

***

As much as I would love to homeschool her (and have even done my research and connected with the local homeschooling community), living in the world's most expensive city means that it is only feasible for both parents to be working. Also, the particular preschool which I have selected is on the higher end of the price range, but for the facilities and activities provided, I feel that it is just the price we have to pay for a quality preschool. Some people argue that young children don't really need to go to preschool, plus they are only required by law to get formal education starting from the year they turn 7. 

But personally, I don't want her very first day at school to be at a proper academic establishment such as Primary School (Grade School), where there are school bells blaring, teachers glaring, textbooks to lug, and homework to be completed. I feel that there are already certain expectations of the students, especially in Singapura's competitive education system. You'd be surprised how many preschools here already start enforcing a rather regimental approach to learning, assign homework and even have pop quizzes in school. 

This may be favoured by some parents, and that is entirely their prerogative, but personally I am definitely into a more play-based approach when it comes to preschool, and like the Montesorri method as well as the Reggio Emilia approach. I may go as far as to say that I do not believe in homework given to Primary School students (but that is another topic for another day).

Well, that is my own little plan for my daughter's preparation to enter Preschool (and eventually Primary School). Ok, it may be far from perfect in some people's eyes, but to me, that's the best route I can think of to make the whole transition as painless and stress-free as possible. Currently, we are still at Step 2, whilst looking around for a suitable place for Step 3, and will only be starting Step 4 at the beginning of next year (2016). 

What do think about my plan? Do you have your own little plan sorted out for your little one? Do share your thoughts with me or feel free to ask me any question in the comments section! :)

The ABCs of TTC: How To Get Pregnant (When The Old Fashioned Way Doesn't Seem To Be Working)

I got the positive news on 9/10/11 :)

A few years ago, my husband and I decided that we finally wanted to have a baby. After about 6 years of marriage, we felt that it was about time for our family to grow. I married pretty young (22), so we had put it off for a while until I thought that I was ready to become a Mother. I had always longed to have children and it was something we had talked about before. But little did we know that our TTC (Trying To Conceive) journey would be a rocky one. It took us over 2 years before I got pregnant, and although it may not seem like a long time to others, to me it was pure hell on earth. Everywhere I looked, there were pregnant women all around me. Facebook announcements made me want to hurl my laptop out of the window. Friends lamenting about how terrible they were feeling during their pregnancy, while they sat there rubbing their baby bump, as I smiled as widely as I could and blinked back my tears. Complete strangers on the subway train, heavily pregnant, made me want to stand up and scream.

My husband and I both went for fertility check ups and were deemed healthy. Although the Doctor was a little concerned whether I was ovulating properly - as in, was an egg actually being released each time I was supposed to ovulate? So I went through a series of tests, was poked, prodded, inside and out, and would cry on the bus by myself as I made myself home from my weekly hospital appointments. It was torturous and I felt so alone because no one really seemed to know what I was going through and I had no one to talk to.

So when my prayers were answered and I finally saw the positive signs on the test kit for the first time in my life, I vowed to share my journey with others so that hopefully someone out there may find some comfort in hearing about the various trials and tribulations I endured, and most importantly, perhaps even benefit from the various methods I have gone through myself.

Below is an A - Z list of different conception tips you can try. Some may be pretty unconventional, but hey, whatever it takes, right? So do read through my compiled list of TTC advice and here's sending some baby dust your way!

A - Acupuncture

Image from Imagine

Ok, I must admit that I only knew about this while watching a random show on TV one evening about Mariah Carey and how she claimed that acupuncture treatments helped to boost her fertility and get pregnant with her twins. I have heard about acupuncture before and living in a South East Asian country gives me the luxury of having a wide range of places that offer such services. I had actually planned to go for one such treatment with one of my friends, but about month or two before that, found out the good news. However, it doesn't just magically happen after 1 session and you have to go quite a number of times before it can have any affect.

B - Baby Dust

Image from Imagine

There is something absolutely magical about carrying a baby or a tiny toddler in your arms. You hold them close to you and can smell their fragrant baby-powder, sweet caramel, natural baby-scented goodness. Some people believe that if you carry or play with a lot of kids, for some reason it will help to increase your chances of getting pregnant. Also, it is considered good luck to be around a pregnant Mom to soak in all her "baby dust". Sounds a little cuckoo? Oh who cares, it makes your ovaries sigh with happiness to cuddle those adorable babies anyway. Just enjoy it.

C - Cervical Mucus

Image from Imagine

No, this is not gross, it is perfectly natural and you should be aware of your cervical mucus (or vaginal discharge) because it is a good indicator of ovulation. The various states or consistency will change throughout.

EGG-WHITE = Most Fertile
WATERY = Fertile
CREAMY = Least Fertile
STICKY = Least Fertile (Post-Ovulation)
DRY = Non-Fertile (Pre-Ovulation)


D - Diet

Image from Imagine

This does not mean you have to starve yourself and just chew on lettuce leaves like a rabbit all day long. On the contrary - you have to be on a well-balanced diet and eat nutritious foods. You are allowed to have the occasional cheeseburger or slice of pizza or a can of soda, but all these should be consumed in moderation. Get more fruits and especially vegetables into your diet and try to include these fertility boosting foods as well:
Brown Rice
Eggs
Salmon
Whole Milk
Broccoli
Olives & Olive Oil
Black Beans
Oysters
Avocado
Almonds
Watercress
Collared Beans
Kale
Spinach
Grapefruit
Arugula
Figs
Green Tea
Coconut Cream
Tofu
(Damn, that list is making me hungry!).

E - Exercise

Image from Imagine

For those of us who are no way in hell going to strike a warrior pose on the beach by ourselves like a loony toon, fret not, you can get a bit of exercise into your daily routine without too much hassle. Take the stairs instead of the elevator/ escalator. Get off one bus stop early and walk the rest of the way. Do a few yoga stretches in the comfort of your own home (away from distracting bikini-clad babes who make you want to bury your head in the sand) - there are even some yoga poses which are specifically for boosting fertility. Whatever you choose to do, just get your blood pumping and your muscles working. I was told by my Fertility Doctor that I had to lose 10kg, and as much as I wanted to claw her eyes out, I did my best to shed the excess baggage by doing Taebo as often as I could. Although, do note that being underweight is also not very good for fertility. The trick is to find just the right balance.

F - Fertility Type

Image from Imagine

Once again I caught wind of this while watching some entertainment channel because I was following Giuliana Rancic's TTC journey. She mentioned Dr Sami David and his Making Babies programme, so I checked it out online and came across a questionnaire you could fill out which would then tell you the results of your "Fertility Type". It would also recommend what sort of diet and exercise regime would be the most suitable for you, which I felt was quite cool because not all of us are built the same.

G - General Health

Image from Imagine

Our bodies are funny but smart things, because sometimes when it can detect that you are not really in the pink of health, then chances of becoming pregnant are pretty slim. Perhaps it's just nature's way of ensuring that the Mother will be healthy enough to carry a baby to full-term and deliver without any complications. There are exceptions of course and this is most definitely not 100% accurate, but it does make sense that before you want to embark on a delicate 9 month journey, you should make sure that you are fully prepared for it mentally and physically. So take care of yourself first and also get a full health check-up before you start trying. For your sake, as well as your future baby's.

H - Hope

Image from Imagine

On most of my dark days, all I had left was hope. When I felt like giving up, like just breaking down and letting go of my dreams of ever becoming a Mother, I clutched on to the tiny shreds of hope I had left that someday my wish would come true. So cast thought negative thoughts aside and never ever give up hope. In fact, my favourite poem of all time by Emily Dickinson helped me through these tough times:

HOPE IS THE THING WITH FEATHERS

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm

That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chilliest land

And on the strangest sea;

Yet, never in extremity,

It asked a crumb of me".

I - IUI & IVF

Image from Imagine

These were the next few steps that my husband and I were willing to explore. You can get these treatments done at  fertility clinic or some hospitals. Just talk to your doctor about it and how to take the next step.

IUI is when they place the sperm directly into your uterus. You usually take fertility drugs prior to this treatment to increase your chances of getting pregnant, thus possible resulting in multiples. I was actually about to take my first round of Clomid, but then got pregnant naturally before I could :)
IVF is when they combine the sperm with the egg in a laboratory dish and then transfer the embryo back into the uterus. This may also result in multiples.

This may not be the ideal way of getting pregnant like you thought of, but not all of us are blessed with perfect fertility, so it's good to know that these options are available to us, should we choose it.


J - Junk Detox

Image from Imagine

Be it smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, binging on fast food, taking drugs or gulping down gallons of coffee, try your best to eliminate all junk from your system. This goes for your partner as well. For us women, it is also better to cut this out of our habits because we shouldn't really be indulging in those things when we are pregnant anyway. I know it's hard, and it sucks and you're grumpy as hell - but the pay off is well worth it, I promise!

K - Keep Track

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Of your period (when did it start? How long did it last? When did it end?) and of when you did the deed. It helps you to figure out your fertile window, as well as hopefully get clued in about your conception date ;) You can track it down manually on a calendar/ daily planner, but there are also convenient and easy to use Apps you can also download. This information is also helpful when you go for any fertility check-ups, because it's obviously a little tough to try to recall the exact dates from memory. Some women also have irregular periods, so it's good to make note of when you do menstruate as this will allow you to calculate your next possible ovulation dates.

L - Lubricants

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Some may not realise this, but a lot of lubricants actually hinder sperm from reaching the egg, because of their consistency. So it is better to your sperm-friendly lube, or you could even try natural alternatives such as:

Olive Oil
Vegetable Oil
Baby Oil
Egg Whites

M - Menstrual Cups

Image from Wikipedia

I came across this by chance while I was browsing through an online shop selling various TTC aid items, one of which was the Menstrual Cup. I had never heard about this in my entire life and thought it was pretty interesting. Not only do some women use it for their monthly visits from Aunt Flo, but it has also been said to be effective in holding in the sperm after intercourse to increase chances of conceiving. It makes sense, doesn't it?

N - Nesting

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When you have that urge to start a family, they call that being "broody". Then when you start preparing your home for that special little addition, they call that "nesting". I'm not sure why they like to use bird analogies, but it does tie in rather nicely with the poem about Hope, doesn't it? :) Nesting isn't just reserved for those who already have babies on the way, I personally think that it's fine to start preparing for the little one when you're still TTC. Think about the sleeping arrangements - will bubs have his or her own nursery? If so, what colour do you want to paint it? Or will they share the same room as you? You can buying bits and bobs of baby stuff if that makes you feel happy - I certainly did, and yes, it made me feel very happy because I was preparing for my future baby, instead of sitting around just waiting and wondering. Make sure your house is baby-proof (this is easier to do anyway without a growing baby bump or those waves of nausea). Do your research about cribs, carseats, strollers, bibs, bottles, pumps, diaper creams, etc - just spend your days reading and preparing yourself for when the time comes. It's never too early for that, and it sure makes you feel positive about things.

O - Ovulation Predictor Kit

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Oh, I get the bird analogies now! Every month when we ovulate, an egg is released from our ovaries and if it gets fertilized by a sperm then that's when you become pregnant :D It is important to know when exactly you ovulate, as you are most fertile around two to three days before that. Also remember that it is better to actually have sex before you start ovulating, so as to increase your chances of getting pregnant. If you're not sure about how to chart your fertile window, then you can also use an Ovulation Predictor Kit. They pretty much work like Pregnancy Test Kits and can be found at the same place in the shops. 

P - Pray

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Whether or not you are religious, or what your religion is, just pray. Take the time out of the hustle and bustle of your daily life to say a heartfelt prayer for yourself and your desire to become a Mother. Ask for prayers to be made for you as well, regardless of everyone else's faith or beliefs. A prayer can be made in a place of worship, in private, in a roomful of other people, in your mind as you are on a long bus ride by yourself, before you go to sleep - just pray for the best. A prayer can also just be positive thoughts and good vibes sent your way. During this TTC journey, it's nice to just receive any form of support and good juju from those around you.

Q - Quotes

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Pinterest is not just for finding delicious recipes for your next potluck party, or making yourself feel inadequate about your lack of party planning skills, you can also find a lot of inspirational quotes there to lift you up and remind you to soldier on (or funny sarcastic ones to give you a good laugh!). Go online to read about other people's TTC struggles with happy endings, which will give you hope as well. Connect with other people who have been in your shoes, so that you won't feel like you're all alone. You won't believe how touched I was when some of my friends shared their personal TTC stories with me and offered words of advice and encouragement. Some of whom I didn't even realise had problems conceiving as well, but were able to recognise the pain I was going through and reached out to me to offer a shoulder to cry on. This is also partly why I now want to be someone's listening ear as well and share the struggles of my past experience, so that hopefully it will benefit somebody else.

R - Relax

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I know, I know, if you had a penny for every time someone told you to "just relax and it will happen", you will have enough to fill a sock to smack them over the head with. When my Fertility Doctor told me that I was too stressed and just needed to relax as well, I actually asked if there was a pill he could prescribe for that (turns out there is, actually). But not wanting do go down the pharmaceutical route just yet, I opted to cut down the stress-factors in my life and pretty much try to chill the f*ck out. As I work on a freelance basis, fortunately I had the liberty to start turning down a few projects that were offered to me, when before I would readily accept every single job that came my way. My schedule was a nightmare and as a theatre practitioner, the rehearsals would usually run late into the night. Chasing deadlines as a scriptwriter and typing furiously away while my husband was already snoring away in bed was also not very beneficial to my health. So we made it a point to have more "date nights", and to go on relaxing holidays or even staycations. I also signed up for a spa package which included massages and facial treatments, just to pamper myself and make me at least look good on the outside even though I was completely broken on the inside. 'Til this very day, I actually still have 2 more sessions to go to but have yet to do so because I got the good news before the whole package was even completed :)

S - Sperm

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When you are trying for a baby, sperm is an obvious factor in the equation, so it's not all on us women to get pregnant, remember that! You have to make sure that your significant other's swimmers are in tip top shape as well. Ask him to go for a fertility check-up, get him on a better diet and lifestyle, ask him to cut down on all his unhealthy habits, make sure he also takes his supplements & vitamins. He is as much a part of this as you are. Sure, he may not be going through the emotional turmoil you experience every month and he may never begin to understand what it's like as a woman to long for something so precious to you that seems so out of reach - but he should show his support by not only being there for you to cry on, but also to do his part to make this happen. Remember, you're both in this together.

T - Traditional Massage

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Massages are awesome whether or not you are TTC, but some of the ones offered at spas and such are usually just to help relax you - which is good too because, well, refer to "R" above. But Traditional Massages are good for targeting specific health issues or concerns. Massages are really good for your blood flow as well. I was lucky that my husband's old neighbour he had while growing up happens to be a Traditional Indonesian Masseuse who actually specialises in Fertility Massages as well as Post-Natal Massages (which I also had shortly after I gave birth). So she was pretty much an old family friend and watched my husband grow up since we was a teenage boy. Ok, I'm not sure if that made the whole experience nicer for me or more awkward though, haha! The massage was fairly painless, but she did focus on my womb area and at one point pressed down so hard I thought I would have a really embarrassing accident right in her face. LOL!!!! Depending on where you live in the world, there should be Traditional Massage services offered somewhere - umm, with happy endings of the baby kind ;)

U - Understand Your Body

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It's unfair when you see someone popping out babies practically every year and they lament about it not even being planned. It's unfair that they didn't even take supplements; Only ate bags of potato chips and drank soda by the litres; Smoked like a chimney; Drank like a fish; Know jacksh*t about TTC; Are considered medically obese; Did not even read this whole entire damn list. Yes, it sucks big time. How come they conceived so easily but you didn't? What did you do wrong? The answer is nothing - you did absolutely nothing wrong. We are all designed very differently and what works for others may not necessarily work for you. You are the only one who knows your own body. Some people can eat a whole tub of ice cream for dinner every single day and not gain a pound (B*TCHES!!). Whereas some merely inhale the sweet aroma of freshly baked doughnuts and our waistline increases by one size (story of my life). So the same goes for being able to conceive on the first try or after several years. You just have to understand what works for your body and what you feel would increase your chances of a positive outcome.

V - Vitamins

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Before you even get pregnant, your body should be prepped and ready for the baby. So taking supplements and vitamins will not only be beneficial to your health, but it will also boost your fertility (this goes for both you and your significant other). Besides taking a fertility blend supplement, my husband and I were both advised to take Folic Acid. Apparently this improves the quality of sperm, and also helps cut down on any problems with producing eggs. Here is a list of other fertility supplements & vitamins you can find out more about and try (but please consult your Doctor before taking any of them):

Chaste Tree Berry
Red Clover
Omega-3 Fatty Acids
Maca Root
Folic Acid
Iron
Magnesium
Vitamin E
Vitamin B
Siberian Ginseng
Lady's Mantle
Black Cohosh

W - Weight

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I know it sucks to hear this, because a lot women have some sort of issue with their weight or body image in general. But yes, your weight can actually affect your chances of conceiving. If you are overweight or even underweight, then that needs to be corrected. Same goes for your significant other as well. This was quite annoying for me because I found that the fertility supplements I was taking were actually causing me to gain weight and plump up because my body was getting primed for a possible baby. But I guess if my weight wasn't on the higher end of the normal BMI range to begin with, a few extra pounds wouldn't have been enough to tip the scale. You can go here to calculate your BMI (Body Mass Index) to determine whether or not you are in the Normal (Healthy) range.

X - XXX

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Umm, yes, I think you all know how to do the deed. But when TTC, there are a few more things you have to make note of. WHEN you do it, HOW you do it, and HOW OFTEN. I used to think that it you get busy every single day, that would increase our chances, right? Wrong! It's actually better to do it every other day, so it doesn't decrease the sperm count. The boys need time to recuperate too :P Now I'm not going to go into details about positions and stuff, but apparently if you prop a pillow under your hips afterwards, it might help to keep the sperm in. I totally did this as well. Some people don't believe this works and some doctors say it's all hogwash, but seriously, at this point in time, you're open to all ideas, right? Also, remember that sperm can live inside you for about 24 - 48 hours (1 - 2 days), but your egg usually hangs around for only 24 hours (1 day). So it's better if you have sex at least 1 day before you ovulate, because it's better for the boys to be hanging around eagerly waiting for Her Royal Majesty to arrive, rather than have her show up to an empty stage, get impatient and then storm off. I know, such a Rockstar, right? Haha!!

Y - Youth

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Notice how the older you get, the louder your biological clock seems to tick? It's just nature's way of reminding you that if you want to have a baby, now's the time to do it! Women over the age of 35 might have a more difficult time getting pregnant because as we age, unfortunately our fertility also decreases. Now even though it may not be entirely impossible to conceive at that age and up, it is advisable to start trying before that, so as to avoid any difficulties. But I do speak from experience being a 20-something year at that time and still facing problems TTC, so sometimes you wonder whether this whole age thing is just bunch of bull. Doctors do advise though that the older you are, the more increased risks you have of developing pregnancy complications. That being said, I have some friends and relatives who have conceived and had healthy, normal pregnancies when they were pushing 40, and also know of other people who were still in their 20's and faced complications. So once again, maybe life is just being a d*ck. But if possible, yes, try to start TTC earlier than 35, just to be on the safe side and at least you will have more time to play with.

Z - Zzz's

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Apparently you can increase your chances of conceiving if you get at least 7 - 8 hours of sleep every night. It's also good to establish a stable sleep routine of going to bed and waking up around the same time every day. The amount of sleep we get alters certain hormones in a way, which in turn affects our fertility. But that doesn't give you an excuse to be Sleeping Beauty and lie in 'til after lunch. If you get too much sleep, that could also do more than harm than good. So remember, get good quality sleep between 7 - 8 hours. No more, no less.


So there is my super long-winded (but hopefully helpful!) list of ABC's on how to get pregnant. I really hope it will benefit at least one person to read it. Please remember though that I am not a medically professional, and all the above-mentioned tips are from my own personal experience or research I gathered on my own TTC journey, so do consult your doctor before you follow any of the advice mentioned, or at least do your own thorough research.

If you have any more questions or just want to vent about how TTC can sometimes really suck ass, do leave a comment (or email me privately) and I'll be more than happy to reply. Good luck and babydust to all of you! :)